Alexander Adventures

Greased Pig Catching Contest

2012-02-12T19:02:00.000-08:00

Old Fashioned Family Barn Dance

2012-01-20T06:19:00.000-08:00

Dust off your boots, grab your partner, and come out to the farm for a fun-filled family day.

Host:

The Alexander Family

When:

Saturday, February 4 at 12:30 PM

Where:

Avery's Branch Farms

16923 Genito Road Amelia, VA 23002

Enjoy Old Fashioned Dancing In The Barn
Bring An Appetite For Delicious Pit Cooked Pork For Lunch
Roast Marshmallows And Warm Up By The Bonfire
Compete In The Greased Pig-Catching Contest

Please bring a side dish and dessert to share.

Feel free to invite all your friends who might enjoy a fun, family day!

The Band "Paid In Full" from Windsor, VA will be performing following the dance.

We look forward to seeing you then!

The Alexander Family

Please RSVP to timjoyalexander@yahoo.com

Organizing Projects

2012-01-15T12:57:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love organizing things. I can spend more time on a storage bin aisle at the store than in an entire mall. I stand gazing and dreaming about the various things I could organize if I had this bin or that.

When I see someone leaving the store with a shopping cart filled with bins, I'm tempted to excitedly run up to them and ask what neat project they're working on. I always refrain but smile as I imagine the fun that awaits them back at home.
I know it's a little strange.

One of my favorite uses of storage bins is for our fold up clothes. Since we have moved so many times and had to fit in a variety of homes, it has been much easier to use storage bins as "drawers" under our beds than to find space for chests of drawers in each bedroom. It's also easier for the younger kids to put away their own clothes and keep them neat when their "drawers" are easily accessible. As an added benefit, instead of packing when we go on vacation, we simply snap the lids on our boxes, load them in the van, and go!

A couple of years ago I was at a new friend's house and as we toured her home she showed me the boys' playroom that had the most amazing system for organizing Legos that I had ever seen. The Lego pieces were separated into bins according to color or function. The mom commented on how much more her boys enjoyed their Legos once the organization had been done.

With 4 boys in our family, our Lego collection had grown to enormous proportions and was contained in several mega-bins. The boys spent as much time searching for the pieces they needed as they did actually building creations.

Inspired by my friend and motivated by my love of organizing, I challenged Sullivan and Harrison to a "Lego Organization." I figured it would take a couple of hours but it was much harder than I imagined. Before it was over, I was begging all the other family members to join us in the mission by taking a shift in what had become a Lego Land nightmare.

But once it was done, it looked great. Of course, the true test of any organizational project is time. If things don't maintain their organized state, the project is not a success. So, I'm happy to report that the Lego organization is celebrating it's 2 year birthday this month! My boys (and now even Sheridan) spend hours upon hours creating with their Legos. Thanks, Jackie, for introducing us to this great way of organizing everyone's favorite plastic building brick!

Our bins are the rolling type so the boys can move them to the middle of their floor when they're working on big creations. Some of the bins were purchased new but it's more exciting to find them at thrift stores for a fraction of the cost.

Another organization project was motivated by a lack of drawer space in the old farmhouse kitchen. Looking through a Country Living magazine one day, I saw an article about kitchen islands and noticed how terribly expensive they were: hundreds or even one thousand dollars! Studying the pictures closely, I realized how much some of the islands resembled old chests of drawers. I decided I'd put the piece of furniture on my "Thrift Store Search List."

You can imagine my excitement when I found this solid wood chest of drawers in a thrift store for about $30.

This mother hen was spying my project before I began working on it in the yard.

At first I didn't know what to do with the back that had writing on it and was not the same, nice wood as the front of the piece.

I spray painted everything except the top. One of the drawer knobs was missing so I switched them around a bit and bought two new pulls for the top drawers. The small drawers are great for serving utensils and the other drawers are deep enough for my frying pans, food processor, griddle, and popcorn popper - helping keep my kitchen counter tops a bit less cluttered.

I decided to paint the back with chalkboard paint. We put messages on it from time to time but when I first finished it, I made this fake menu for the week to demonstrate the new island's chalkboard feature that I knew would meet with scrutiny from my male family members who don't have any appreciation for these crafty projects of mine.

Making my pretend menu more believable, I wrote the verse from Proverbs, "She gets up while it is still dark and provides food for her family." We all snickered when a new friend happened to be visiting and he stared in amazement at the menu and said, "Whoa! I'm eating with y'all this week!"

This organizational project is celebrating its one year anniversary and continues to serve its purpose really well.

A Letter to Kaleigh

2012-01-12T07:51:00.000-08:00

At the funeral of a dear friend, we were asked to write a letter to her toddler granddaughter so that a scrapbook might be compiled. Although the funeral was more than three months ago, I am only now able to finish the letter I began then.

It seems the writing of the letter would be used by God to speak to my heart about underlying issues needing addressing.

During the months surrounding the funeral, God sent several scriptures across my path that have caused me to do some reflecting. I hope the circumstances will be used to shape me into the girl God wants me to be.

~~~~

Dear Kayleigh,

I first met your grandmother, Melissa, when she visited our organic farm in the summer of 2009. Her cancer was in remission and she was searching for raw milk to aid in her continued recovery. She was full of life and hope. In talking with her I realized she was incredibly knowledgeable about natural resources for fighting disease and I looked forward to learning a lot from her.

Although she had just finished a fierce battle for her life, she reached out to encourage me as I was struggling in my new role as a farm wife. We had just moved into an abandoned, one-hundred-year-old house on a rented farm so that we could continue to grow and meet the demands of the families who were searching for real milk.

She was so desirous that I have something of beauty in the old house that she dried a bouquet of hydrangeas from her garden and gave them to me. Her testimony and appreciation for life had a profound effect on me that summer. I never look at the bouquet that I don't remember her kindness to reach out to me when truly she was the one deserving of encouragement.

As your grandmother's strength continued to increase, she used her days wisely as she diligently sought to educate others about the importance of wholesome, chemical-free foods to fight disease. Only a decade older than myself, she had the energy of a youth, and organized a well-attended seminar with a renowned doctor and also founded a support group for the health-conscious community in which she served.

When I told her our oldest daughter was engaged, she was so excited and quickly offered to help with the wedding flowers since she had enjoyed making bouquets for brides in the past. What an incredibly gifted floral designer she was! She made a bouquet for Meredith's wedding with one hundred live stephanotis flowers where she laboriously removed the inner stem and replaced each one with a pearl. It was truly breathtaking. We later learned that a purchased similar bouquet would have cost $700. Yet, she lovingly prepared the exquisite bouquet in exchange for milk.

When our younger daughter, at age three, was missing her big sister in the weeks following the wedding, your grandmother emailed often to check on our little Sheridan. At Christmas, your grandmother gave Meredith and Sheridan matching ornaments so they'd always have "sister ornaments" to unite them.

Your grandmother was also a gifted photographer and it seemed that you were her most favorite subject to capture in photos. Kayleigh, you've been on my refrigerator a whole year as your grandmother gave me the most beautiful picture that she took of you on the beach during a family vacation. What a treasure you were to her.

As your grandmother continued to enjoy making healthy recipes with the milk, she asked if she could come spend the day with me sometime to learn how to make cheeses. Although I told her yes, my thoughts immediately turned to the reality of what a day is like on the farm and I felt hesitant to schedule a cheese-making day together.

She didn't know that my days are dictated minute by minute by the demands of the farm. Any given task of my day was ordinarily interrupted with customers' phone calls, corralling kids to get their farm chores done, hanging out one load of laundry after another, washing one load of milk jars after another, answering the farm's business emails that had accumulated over the last couple of hours, and at times almost running through the house to try hard to get all the work done that day.

Cheese-making fit in between the many, many interruptions. "No," I figured, "Melissa doesn't want to enter into this chaos simply to learn to make cheese." So I never put a date on the calendar.

Not long after that conversation, your grandmother asked me to pray because she wasn't feeling well.

We were so hopeful. I just knew she'd surely rally once again and be victorious as she had in the first round of the battle. Your grandmother was filled with determination that she'd emerge a conqueror as she had before. I didn't doubt her for a minute.

I realized I would be having a short break in my otherwise hectic schedule because my younger kids would be visiting with grandparents and I imagined the visit with your grandmother that had never taken place earlier.

I thought I'd call and we could meet somewhere to just enjoy a cup of tea. But as the monstrous weight of farm responsibilities pulled me down those days, I found myself turning fifty gallons of milk into butter so the extra milk that the cows had produced wouldn't go to waste.

The day I had hoped would offer a chance to break away for a visit turned into just another day of chaotic, fast-paced farm work.

Within days I left for Georgia to spend time with our oldest daughter who was now expecting a baby. I heard that your grandmother wasn't doing well at all. I talked with several friends and family and they said your grandmother would not survive the battle this time.

Oh how I cried. Knowing that I traded my recent chance to visit with her for making butter grieved my heart so badly. I begged God to please let her live until I got back home.

She sent me a late night email soon after and asked me to call. As we talked I told her how she had shaped my life by her testimony. I told her that she had such a powerful influence in the direction of the farm as we continued to implement organic practices we learned because of her.

I assured her I'd come see her just as soon as I got home. She asked that I bring Sheridan as well as pictures of Meredith's soon-to-arrive new baby.

We left Georgia on a Monday evening and drove through the night so we wouldn't waste daylight, working hours on driving. My thoughts were on your grandmother so often. In the quiet hours of the night drive, I'd think, then pray, then think some more, then pray again. I was so hopeful that I'd get to see your grandmother one more time.

When I got home Tuesday morning, September 20th, after having been gone for three weeks, my house looked more like the outdoors than the indoors. The hard weeks of baling hay for the guys who stayed behind, left a trail of what seemed like a grassy forest in my home. I quickly began straightening but kept my eye on the clock, waiting for what I figured was a decent hour to call your grandmother's house to see if I could come for a visit.

But I was too late. She had passed away while I was driving home. She was gone.

Oh Kayleigh, I am struggling with regret. I traded my last chance to see her for butter. Oh how heavy my heart is.

You looked like a little angel at the funeral. She loved you so much. You brought so much happiness into your grandmother's life.

May you be like she was, Kayleigh - one who prioritizes service to others, friendship, thoughtfulness, and kindness. May your life be a continuation of hers as you spread joy to all those who know you. May your life be characterized by loving others in such a way that you have no regrets.

Much love,

Joy Alexander

~~~~

"Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint." Proverbs 23:4

"...Don't live to make a good impression on others..." Philippians 2:3a

The Lord used these verses and Melissa's death, along with other circumstances, to speak to my heart about the fast-paced, super busy work schedule I keep. I realize that although I don't work hard in hopes of becoming rich, I work hard for other reasons and it produces the same bad results. Sometimes I work extra hard because I can't bear to see something go to waste, sometimes it's because I want the challenge of turning nothing into something, sometimes it's to make a good impression on others. What has this obsession with productivity cost me? What will I lose if I don't change? What have I already lost? I desperately want the Lord to change me so I won't have a future filled with regrets.

The Christmas Letters

2012-01-08T13:53:00.000-08:00

When Timmy and I were newly married and celebrating our first Christmas together, a little neighbor girl was selling a variety of things to help her school raise money so I purchased a small nativity scene. It had a Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. I set it on a coffee table that first year and after Christmas carefully wrapped it up in the tissue paper and box in which it had arrived. Just before I closed the box though, I scribbled a little note on the tissue paper. The next year, I did the same. And the year after that and the next until the tissue paper was ragged and crumpled. I finally added another piece of paper to the little box and began scribbling notes on it. Since the papers are approaching 30 years old, I thought I would record the words here in our family scrapbook blog so that they would not be lost.

January 1, 1985
I hope that next year when you set these same ornaments out that you're just as happy being married to Timmy as you are right now!

December 26, 1985
I am even happier this year! We're taking the tree down early this year so we can move into our new home! We're so happy and excited! Marriage just keeps getting better and better.

January 3, 1987
Our third Christmas together! It was as happy as ever! Our relationship has such a deep love. Sometimes I feel like it's only the two of us in the world. Timmy makes me so happy. He's just what I dreamed the perfect husband would be!

January 7, 1988
Wow, what a Christmas! This year we had a brand new baby girl to celebrate with. Meredith has made us happier than ever. We're so lucky. What a wonderful life we have!

December 29, 1988
This has been the roughest year I can remember. We've been so happy to have a wonderful baby girl who is so good and brings us such happiness but I think I expect so much of Tim now that we have a baby and he always seems unhappy - with me and himself. I wish I could write something terrific, but it's been such a bad year.

January 3, 1990
What a beautiful and happy Christmas...a snowy morning and the first Christmas that our Meredith was so excited about all the toys. This year has been a good year - we're both really working at a terrific marriage and our precious baby is more than ever "the light of our lives."

December 31, 1990
Truly the best Christmas of the best year of our lives. We've come such a far way in developing a strong marriage. Timmy and I are so content with each other. I've grown so in love with him this year. Although it was our worst year financially (Tim was a full-time student), God met our every need. We learned how to be content with each other and thankful to God. Our three year old is a sweet little girl, not a baby anymore. And in March, we're expecting another baby. What a terrific year!

January 4, 1992
This was the first year that Meredith really understood why were celebrating Christmas. She is a big four year old and was excited to give to our less-fortunate neighbor as if she were giving to Jesus. Elliott is a precious baby boy - a nine month old with a wonderful, cheerful personality! I've concluded though that a "new baby year" is a rough year. So much tension and stress in our marriage. I hope Timmy and I will be close again very soon.

January 1, 1993
What a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed our little family so much this year. We had a very conservative Christmas and emphasized what we gave for Christ's birthday instead of what we received. We went to an elderly home and sang as one of our gifts to Jesus. I enjoy teaching these little children so much. I'm so very blessed to be in this family. Timmy is so dear to me - a precious jewel. I fall more in love with him each year. Elliott is a sweet baby. (As I wrote that he came and gave me a kiss for no reason.) Meredith is the perfect daughter. She is growing into a beautiful person on the inside and out. The maternity shop has been a horrible struggle this year. I don't know if it will make it. God is faithful though. He is such a wonderful Friend and has given me peace in this storm. He is so good to me and my precious family. He has blessed us with happiness and contentment this year.

December 27, 1993
So much happened this year. We have a new baby boy - Oliver! He's just four weeks old and is simply terrific! What a precious gift to our family. God did something else really wonderful this year, too. Our retail/rental maternity shop is gone! Through a meaningful walk with God, He lovingly took away the horrible burden in April of providing for Expecting Style. It was a tough summer thinking we would lose our house to the shop debts, but God graciously provided. I don't ever recall such contentment as I have now. I am so grateful to God, so totally fulfilled as a mom, and so thankful and appreciative of my sweet Timmy. He has been incredibly helpful since Oliver arrived. This year, more than ever, I have so much to be thankful for. God is so good to me!

January 10, 1995
Although we took down the tree a week ago, things have been so hectic I'm just now getting time to pack away the manger scene. This has been a miraculous year. We have worked so hard to pull ourselves out of debt from the shop and did paper route most of the year. Now we have all the debts paid that were pressing on us, have consistently lived on a budget, and even have money in a savings account. God has blessed our efforts tremendously. Another terrific year as a wife and mother. Timmy is working long hours and really hoping for another job soon. Meredith accepted Christ this year. Elliott has become such a sweet boy. Oliver is a precious one year old. I am definitely the most blessed person I know!

January 1, 1996
Who would ever believe how God has worked in our lives this year? Just an average family with ordinary lives but I have (for years) begged God for something more. I have prayed that God would draw Timmy closer to Himself and in the process draw us closer as a family. There are no words to describe the change in Timmy. We were asked to think about becoming houseparents at Hope Haven Children's Home and without hesitation Timmy said we would consider it. On August 4th, our eleventh wedding anniversary, we moved to the children's home. Sometimes I don't even recognize the man God is making with Timmy. It has been a tough adjustment for me to embrace the cross and obediently follow God through paths that lead to the answers to prayers I've prayed. Of all the many things I used to pray for Timmy, God has answered every request except that Timmy have a job where he can be challenged and grow in the Lord. I am looking for the answer to that prayer this year. I have incredible peace knowing that I followed God and am in the center of His will. We had an exciting Christmas with our three precious children, Nikki, and John and Ronnie (2 children we're caring for at Hope Haven). God is teaching us how to serve Him.

January 9, 1997
This year I watched my last big prayer get answered. Timmy left his job of ten years and came on staff at Hope Haven. I love how we see each other all the time. Our marriage is beautiful - like a fairy tale. Our service to the Lord has been so challenging this year. I get so discouraged sometimes. I'm still trying to adjust. Timmy is everything I ever prayed for, but much more than I could even imagine. God has done an unbelievable work in his life. Elliott and Oliver are doing well. I worry about Mere. This is a tough time for her.

January 2, 1998
It occurred to me as I tried to un-crumple a new piece of tissue paper in the manger scene box that maybe I should just write on a piece of paper. I had no idea how precious these yearly comments would be when I first began thirteen years ago. What can I say this year that summarizes these last twelve months in a few short sentences? This was the most difficult year of our lives. This was the most victorious year of our lives. After two years at Hope Haven and more struggling, sadness, and despair than I've ever experienced, we left. Through all the pain came unimaginable growth - as parents, as a married couple, and as children of God. Words cannot express what God has done in our lives. Obediently following Him, contentment is found! Timmy is a husband and daddy that most of the women in this world long for. He is the most precious gift I've ever received. What a caring and loving daddy he has become. Our home is heaven on earth. We are all so thankful to just be a family again. I don't know that the celebration of Jesus' birth has ever been any sweeter than this year. God has been so good to us. He is a faithful Friend and our victorious Provider.

January 3, 1999
How ironic that the best word to describe this year is "calm" when it began at a lovely home in Stonegate (after having left Hope Haven in September and moving to a Virginia Beach condo for two months), then on to Williamsburg to be near Timmy's work for three months (what a mission field God sent us to there!), then on to Charlestown Lakes (a wrecked auction house that has become a real blessing). We're on the move but are experiencing such peace. We enjoy being a family so much. God had blessed our buying and selling auction houses this year. We're having so much fun. Every one of us gets involved and this project has drawn us even closer together. The new Timmy is the normal Timmy. The man he became through the trials at Hope Haven has been the man he is every day. He is a precious, godly man and terrific daddy. I'm living in heaven on earth with him. The children continue to be the thrill of our lives and imagine - the Lord is blessing us with another in July! We're so excited and so happy!

January 1, 2000
Can life get any better than this? We are such a happy family. What a great Christmas. Our precious newborn, Sullivan, was with us and we headed out to West Virginia for a Christmas ski trip. We enjoyed each other so much. I don't know a family more blessed than ours. This year was uneventful - I'm so glad. Even though we continue to move often, we're enjoying the challenge and excitement. We are all so in love with little Sullivan. What an incredible gift to our family from the Lord. I can't imagine life any better this side of heaven. Timmy is an unbelievably terrific daddy. He's so good with the baby. I'm so glad he's my husband. Life is so good.

January 2, 2001
The Lord is faithful through the good times and the bad. Lots of opportunities to lean on God this year. In March we learned Oma had breast cancer. Things went incredibly well with the treatment and the whole ordeal is remembered mostly by the many visits we enjoyed with Tabby, Opa, and Oma. After an incredible week-long seminar (Bill Gothard's Basic Principles of Life) we gave control of our family size to the Lord. In July we miscarried our seven week old growing baby. The Lord held us so close during that experience. In August Granddaddy Palos died. We moved to a hotel in July when we sold our Riverwalk house. Then moved to a fixer-upper in Greenbrier in September - just two days after Opa was hospitalized. He spent one very difficult month in and out of the hospital then came home and passed away on October 14th. The depth of the darkness and fear I felt during those last weeks has been difficult to really address as of yet. I have such contentment to know Opa is with the Lord and we will all join him so soon. Our lives really are a vapor. A daily walk with God is the most important thing in this world. We are now expecting another baby - 16 weeks along, due June 14th. We thought it best to spend Christmas a little differently this year and our family, along with Oma met the Hershbergers at Snowshoe, West Virginia for a ski trip. We had such a good time and Oma seemed very content. Through each trial God has taught us more about how truly good He is and how much He loves us. In the midst of the ups and downs I have been more blessed than ever by my precious Timmy - what an incredible friend. This year, more than any other, Timmy has grown as a friend and an outstanding father. our children are so fortunate to call this dear man "Daddy". The joy I find in being a wife to Timmy and mother to our wonderful children is beyond words. I am so blessed. God has been so good to me.

January 1, 2002
Wow! What a lot of changes in our lives this year. Our wonderful new baby Harrison joined our family on June 23rd. What a blessing! In October we moved to Roper, NC where Timmy is building bridges for the next two to three years. So much has changed. We have left our fast-paced city life for a quiet, remote, desolate little town that allows time for playing in the woods, preparing home-cooked meals, and enjoying each other. We are adjusting to the many things we left behind though - a great church, the Growing Kids God's Way ministry, weekly Bible study, homeschool support groups, sports, friends, teaching childbirth classes, mall and thrift store shopping, .... We know God has brought us here for His purposes and we want Him to find us faithful to trust Him even when we don't know His plan. We are blessed with good health, a comfortable place to live, and a deep peace and contentment that only God can give.

December 31, 2002
Deuteronomy 28:3 "You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country." How true! What a wonderful year our family enjoyed. We've adjusted so well to our slow-paced, family-centered life here in NC that we now hope we'll never have to return to the city. We didn't fully realize how hectic city life was or the way it stole from the quality of our family relationships until there weren't so many activities in which to participate. Although Timmy's bridges are coming along nicely, this is definitely a huge job and responsibility with great potential for creating a lot of "take-home stress." Asking Timmy why he seems to have less stress about his job than ever before, he stated it was because of our relaxed, non-rushed family life. We've also enjoyed an incredibly healthy hear avoiding virtually all the colds and flus common to families with several kids. We know this is just some wonderful, unmerited gift from the Lord. The greatest blessing and sorrow has been the addition of two more babies to our family that we won't meet till we get to Heaven. Miscarriages in April and August were very sad but we're focused on trusting our loving Lord's plans for our lives and theirs. The Lord has done immeasurably more than we've ever asked or imagined in our family this year.

January 4, 2004
This last year could best be summed up in one word: WORK! We began building a house in Hertford, NC last spring and continue to spend every evening and all day Friday and Saturday working together. Although it has been much harder than we expected, it has been an absolutely wonderful way to spend lots of time together as a family as well as teach the children invaluable skills for their futures. We had hoped we would complete the house and spend a couple of years in it, but it looks like we may be moving to Amelia, VA while Timmy builds bridges there. It was disappointing at first but as we recall the great things God has so faithfully done in our family with each of our moves, we have almost come to look forward to what He'll do this time. God added two more babies to our heavenly home this year. We miscarried one baby in May and just found out a couple of weeks ago that the baby we've carried for almost fifteen weeks died around eight weeks and will miscarry soon. We have an amazing sense of peace. We have accepted that God is surely receiving greater glory through these sad losses and we have chosen to continue to trust Him with this area of our lives. "So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." 1 Peter 4:19 God has been so good to us this year. We have much to be thankful for. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

January 26, 2005
I've never written this late but these past few months could best be summed up: PLAY! We just returned from a fantastic sixteen day trip to Colorado. What an unimaginable treat to travel across the U.S. as a family. In August we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary with a cruise to the Bahamas and in September we enjoyed a terrific trip to Disney World. The Lord has blessed us with sweet relationships, good health, and financial resources to enjoy so much fun as a family. Tim's job in Amelia, VA (Fort Pickett) provides for us nicely along with the huge blessing of Sullivan's Tractor Service. This year we have worked hard and played hard. I feel we are the most blessed family int he world. Our greatest sorrow was the completed miscarriage in February of the baby who died in late 2003, as well as another dear baby who miscarried in November. In our trials God has been our closest Companion and continues to heal our hurting hearts. The pain has served to bind our hearts closely to one another and to our Lord. God makes us feel so complete, so content. I love this moment of our lives and wish I could freeze it here forever. Cheerful teens, precious younger ones, a fulfilling marriage - thank you, God. You are so to good to us.

January 2, 2006
We begin 2006 with so much uncertainty on the horizon. For some time we have felt God's leading for Timmy to leave Mid Eastern Builders and begin a home building business where he can better teach and disciple the children. However, posturing ourselves for that huge step has been both confusing and frightening. It seems we're constantly before the Lord begging for guidance. We moved from Amelia to Tyner, NC and are comfortably living in a small trailer (less than 1500 square feet) that was a true blessing from the Lord. As Tim's job finished up, we decided we should move closer to his new job location in Smithfield, VA. We searched so hard for housing but nothing opened up, so we moved to our Kempsville (Virginia Beach) rental, praying all along that God would rescue us from what we feel is not the best place to raise the children. We were so happy to have been given this trailer. Life is so good in the country. We had several memorable events this year: Timmy and I both turned 40 and Meredith turned 18! We also added another baby to our heavenly home on May 16, 2005. At times this feels like an unbearable sorrow. How we would love to welcome more children into our family. We continue to trust God and have confidence that He loves us and is only allowing what is best. May this year bring us "happiness in proportion to our former misery." Ps. 90:15 I wish I could take a peek at January 2007 to see how this year turns out.

December 27,2006
I'm writing early this year so we can take down the tree and pack up the ornaments. In our tiny trailer with the make-shift garage (a pull-behind work trailer borrowed from Timmy's company) there is much rearranging that must be done when bringing in the tree. This year we're eager to get everything back in its proper place so we can bring in the cradle and prepare for a miracle: the anticipated arrival of a baby girl! We all stand in utter amazement that God would allow us to join Him once again in the awesome privilege of raising another soul for His glory! After adding seven babies to our heavenly home through miscarriages, we never thought we'd know the joy of welcoming a baby into our family again. We are so grateful!
It has been another year of deep searching as we try to follow God's leading in our desire for Timmy to leave MEB. It has also been a year of much growth as we've gone through the life-changing seminars as a family: "The Institute in Basic Life Principles" (for the second time) and "The Financial Freedom Seminar." God is revealing so much as we obey. It has been difficult though peaceful. We desire more than ever to finally settle down, but are completely dependent on God to make a way. God is good.

January 1, 2008
What an indescribable year of blessing this has been! God gave us a gift of immeasurable worth on February 19, 2007 - Sheridan Anna Claire! She has brought an enormous amount of happiness into our lives. A baby, a precious baby - there is no greater gift given to families. A few weeks after her birth, a family looked at and put a contract on the trailer. It was sold fifteen days later. This opened a long-awaited door for Tim to leave his job and word from home around us full time. He celebrated his last day at MEB and his 42nd birthday on April 20th. We moved back to Amelia to focus on selling our investment properties but because of the very slow real estate market, we began a farming (small dairy) venture. Although we are very thankful for its success, our biggest priority continues to be getting out of debt. God sold our lot on the water so we only have the Hertford and Amelia houses left with mortgages. What a year. A baby, a dad coming home, and an exciting, new farming business, to say nothing of the unexplainable good health we're enjoying (an undeserved, gracious gift from God). God has blessed us tremendously, beyond words, beyond measure. God is so, so good.

February 1, 2009
I don't think I've ever written so late but we are unimaginably busy with all the demands of a farming business. We've never worked so hard. More often than not, the days start early, end late, and don't offer even a short break in between. We began the year with many health concerns as sicknesses and ailments came as unwelcome visitors. Most grieving was the miscarriage of another baby June 5th. While God has shown Himself so incredibly faithful to our family this year, we, never-the-less experienced the greatest financial stress we've ever known. We continue to carry the burden of unsold properties though God has faithfully helped us week by week, month by month. During this most difficult year, the farming/cow share program has grown beyond our wildest dreams. We have begun this new year with our needs not only being met, but even exceeded. The sun of our financial situation is beginning to peek through the clouds. It is so very welcome. Even though this was a hard year, God has been so unspeakably good to allow us the absolute joy of spending our days together as a family. The children bring us so very much happiness. I am blessed beyond measure to enjoy a husband of almost 25 years, a hard working 21 year old daughter, a tender-hearted 17 year old son, a most cheerful 15 year old son, a brilliant, bubbly 9 year old son, a creative, inventive 7 year old son, and an absolutely miraculous 23 month old baby girl.

December 27, 2009
Writing the annual update on December 27th?! Hopefully this is a sign of a more manageable year ahead. It has been our very busiest year ever, this last year. The farm has grown so much and is meeting our needs very well. However the growth has made it feel completely overwhelming at times, like a wild monster. We are trying hard to streamline so it won't be so stressful next year. The farm is an amazing gift of provision from God and we are very thankful for it. We celebrated our 25th anniversary in February with a wonderful two week trip to Colorado for skiing and then we went to California to board a cruise ship headed to Mexico. What a fun trip. We also celebrated Elliott's graduation with a wonderful pig-pickin' and square dance. After much prayer regarding the growing farm and limited pasture, God opened a door for us to rent land and an abandoned, one hundred year old house. We moved on June 20th - what an overwhelming task. We are so very thankful for God's provision though. We were sad to miscarry for the ninth time on October 1st. God is faithful though and we are only drawn closer to Him through the trials. We have so much hope as we look to the future. God has been so good to us.

February 27, 2011
Have I ever written the year-end review so late? I suppose last year's early entry was no indication of an easier year ahead. I can't believe how much has happened in this last year. God sent a godly young man for Meredith and she and Stephen were married December 11, 2010. What an unimaginably busy year. We all worked so hard to prepare for the wedding in a Richmond church and reception at the farm for over 400 guests. Then Mere and Stephen moved to Oxford in England. God has already blessed them with a pregnancy but Mere has been in the hospital for a week from severe dehydration and vomiting. I had no idea how much we'd miss her. It feels like the best years of our lives just ended. From this point, will we always look back and miss what used to be? It's such a big adjustment.

Happy Birthday, Oliver!

2011-11-30T07:20:00.000-08:00

Eighteen years ago today God blessed us with a wonderful baby whom we named Oliver. He has brought so much laughter and happiness into our lives.

Oliver's latest interest is making ice cream with the farm's organic, raw milk using our small commercial ice cream machine. We are loving being his taste-testers.

Sullivan wrote this poem, assuming the position of Oliver's ice cream salesman:

"Who wants to try some green bean flavored ice cream?

It's the newest on the menu, and as yucky as it may seem,

This green bean flavored ice cream makes you as strong as the Hulk,

And it's weight loss food too, so you can take off some bulk.

But better than that, it's affordable too.

And with organic ingredients, it's so good for you.

It can make you by far the best kid in school,

And policemen eat it while enforcing the rule.

It must be the very best flavor ever created.

I know that is true, I myself ate it.

And don't you start saying my skin has turned green,

And that my head is the shape of a bean.

Wait a second … Ow! Go call the doctor!

I'll send my complaint to Oliver, this dessert's concocter,

I knew this job as a salesman wouldn't work out,

And green bean flavored ice cream is something we could all do without."

You're Invited

2011-11-11T16:38:00.000-08:00

Our family would love to invite you to our farm's annual

"Day To Give Thanks For Udders"

Saturday, Nov 19, 2011

12 pm - 4pm

Farm Day Events

FREE FOOD PROVIDED BY CHIPOTLE

Yum! Come have lunch at the farm.

"FARMAGEDDON" MOVIE SHOWING

A captivating documentary about

food and the family farm.

A must see!

1:30pm in the Barn Loft

FARM TOUR HAY RIDES

Visit the cows, pigs, chickens, and all the other

farm animals.

PLANT-A-SEED STATION

The kids can plant a seed and take it home to

nurture and grow.

FREE RAW MILK

While supplies last, all farm store customers can

take home a free HALF GALLON of fresh, raw milk.

RESTORED FARMHOUSE TOUR

Come see the 100 year old farmhouse that you helped us to restore and enjoy some hot cider in the

farmhouse kitchen.

MILK THE SIMULATED COW

Try your hand at milking a cow.

FARM STORE

Bring a cooler to stock your freezer with grass-fed, pastured poultry, pork, and beef.

TRACTOR DISPLAY

Let the kids pretend they're farmers at the tractor display.

We look forward to seeing you on

Saturday, November 19th!

www.averysbranchfarms.com

Happy Birthday, Stephen!

2011-10-09T05:11:00.000-07:00

Sullivan (age 12) wrote this in honor of Stephen's birthday today:

There once was a soldier named Stephen,

Who was so shrewd and brave,

Every time he drove down the street,

Everyone would salute and wave.

Before he was deployed in the Middle East,

All his friends threw a goodbye feast,

And he promised them their names he would not forget,

And that he would keep up with them on the Internet.

When he was not on the front lines, leading his platoon,

From six o'clock in the morning, till six o'clock in the afternoon,

He would blow up tanks full of enemy men,

Or pick up a machine gun and shoot down about ten.

He would fight and fight and fight and fight,

He would fight in the day and fight in the night,

Until not a single enemy soldier could stand,

And their enemy commander lost his command.

And then after all he had heard and saw,

He said, “I think I've got an interest in law.”

So he finally put down his rifle and knife,

And went back home to his daughter and wife.

He started as a lawyer but then became a judge,

As he sorted out every fight, theft, and grudge,

Until he retired at the age of sixty-four,

And went to his family, which was plus eighteen more.

And as each daughter found a husband and each son found a wife,

He moved down to Dallas, were he spent the rest of his life,

And he watched his grandchildren grow until the day he went to heaven,

And they counted them all up, and he had three hundred and seven.

I hope you like this foretelling of you,

And I hope everything in this poem comes true.

Sincerely,

Sullivan Alexander

Welcome Margaret Alice!

2011-09-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

We're so excited to share the wonderful news of Meredith and Stephen's new baby girl's arrival. Margaret Alice arrived on September 13, 2011 at 4:01am. She was a whopping 9 pounds 8 ounces! She is healthy in every way. What a wonderful gift from God.

We assumed Margaret would arrive before her due date of September 10th since Meredith's midwife appointments in the final three weeks revealed she was 4 - 5cm dilated.

Wanting to be available to help with the birth, should Stephen be in the field training, I (Joy), along with Sullivan, Harrison, and Sheridan all arrived in Georgia in late August.

While we waited for Maggie's arrival, we spent our days swimming, shopping, reading, and even canning. (I brought ingredients from the garden so we could make salsa for both families.)

I was enjoying the unexpected treat of visiting with a long-time, dear friend in nearby Alabama on Monday evening, September 12th, when I received a phone call from Meredith. She told me her water had broken. It was a bit after 11pm. I quickly hurried to meet Meredith and Stephen at the hospital. We all arrived around midnight.

After an initial assessment, the nurses sent Meredith to walk the halls. At first her contractions were quite manageable. But by 1:15am they were getting much more difficult. What an incredible job Meredith did as she managed each contraction. She had been so well prepared prior to the birth by making a real effort to be well educated on natural childbirth. She handled herself like a mom who had been through natural childbirth a dozen times.

Amazingly, she had dilated to 8 cm in that short time and by 2:30am she was ready to begin pushing. In what seemed like a short time to me, (I'm sure Meredith wouldn't agree) little Margaret Alice was born.

All three of the midwives had told Meredith the baby would be in the 7 pound range so we were so surprised when the delivery nurse reported Margaret's weight at 9 pounds, 8 ounces. "Where did you hide all that baby?!" they kept saying.

We were so very thankful that the Lord worked out all the details so Stephen could be there for everything. He didn't have to miss one single part of this most memorable event of their new lives together.
What fun for the new aunt and uncles to get to be among the first to hold this precious treasure.
Harrison says he'll be Maggie's "Uncle Harry" though none of us ever refers to him as "Harry" except when he needs a haircut badly.

Margaret is blessed to have many grandparents, great grandparents, and even 3 great, great grandparents. With so many grandparent names still in circulation, I thought I'd be "Nana Joy."

Meredith brought Maggie home in the dress I made for Meredith's homecoming almost 24 years earlier.

I remember, like it was yesterday, arriving at the hospital for a scheduled induction for Meredith's birth all those years ago and carrying that long, white dress into the hospital. At the time, I didn't even know if she was a girl or boy. I remember the staff commenting on the dress, assuming it meant we were having a girl. But I told them, "I don't know if it's a girl or boy but whoever it is, they're wearing this dress home!" Timmy was thankful it turned out to be a girl!
Little Margaret Alice already adores her daddy!

Tim was able to come to Georgia after Margaret arrived. He loved holding that new, sweet granddaughter. He's going to be "Farmerdaddy."

Since Meredith returned from the hospital, she's been flooded with an outpouring of kindness from their new church family, ladies Bible study friends, and military wives. Meals have been coming in along with much encouragement from new and veteran mothers.

We are so filled with joy to observe God's extraordinary goodness to Meredith, Stephen, and Maggie. What an absolute blessing to watch God's wonderful plan for this new family unfold.

Summer Fun

2011-09-09T05:58:00.000-07:00

What a great summer this has been.

After we returned from the trip to California, we got busy preparing to help Meredith move to their new home in Georgia.

What a blessing to go through all of the sweet dresses Meredith wore as a newborn and prepare them for her own daughter to wear. As I handed each one to Meredith, I told her the stories of the people who made or purchased the dresses for her over 20 years ago. I felt so very blessed to be able to hand down the dresses that I had loved so much when Meredith was a baby.

Some of our dear friends in Richmond gave Meredith a beautiful baby shower.

Meredith received so many wonderful things for little Margaret Alice.

The Lord blessed the garden this year and Meredith and I were able to put up enough corn, okra, tomatoes, peppers, and salsa for both of our families.

Our long time family friends in Suffolk and Chesapeake greatly encouraged Meredith with a "Blessing Shower" where the most beautiful songs, prayers, and notes were given in honor of Meredith, Maggie, and Stephen. It was so meaningful.

Between both showers, Meredith received just about everything she needed to prepare for Maggie's arrival.

After a week of canning, freezing, and baby showers, we headed to Georgia to help Meredith move into their new place.

Meredith quickly began decorating with her beautiful country-living style and in no time the entire house was transformed into a welcoming, gorgeous home.
While we waited for Stephen to arrive, we enjoyed visiting with Meredith for a week.
We went to our very favorite pastor's church in Atlanta - Dr. Charles Stanley.
Dr. Stanley's messages have given such sound spiritual teaching to our family through the years. We love listening to him as we're getting ready to go to church. His famous line, "If you're listening, say 'Amen!' keeps the Alexander family hollering out "Amen's" as we're scurrying around on Sunday mornings.
The church's bookstore displays Dr. Stanley's beautiful photography. This incredible picture of an old, rustic boat, taken at Martha's Vineyard, was stunning.
Never intimidated by a long drive, Tim drove us 4 hours to Panama Beach, Florida one day so we could play in the water, sand, and sun.
Meredith's new neighborhood has a "Cheddar's," our favorite family restaurant.
Knowing Meredith would be arriving in Georgia just 4 weeks before her due date, she was eager to meet her midwives. As it turned out, we made it in plenty of time. Meredith has seen all the midwives enough to feel comfortable about Maggie's September 10th due date.
About the time Stephen arrived in Georgia, we headed back home to Virginia. But not for long. Hoping to be available to help with Margaret Alice's delivery, the younger 3 kids and I (Joy) returned when Meredith was about 38 weeks.
Stephen showed us around the National Infantry Museum. The kids really learned a lot. Below is one of the beams from the twin towers in New York. It was gifted to the Army because of their rescue efforts surrounding the 9/11 tragedy.The happily expecting couple.
Mere at 39 weeks.
Next post.....introducing baby Margaret Alice! Thank you for your prayers for her safe arrival.

Honk If You're Happy That We're Going to Disney

2011-08-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

We didn't imagine we'd ever take another real vacation since becoming farmers but the Lord worked out all the details for us to spend ten days in California having fun and making memories at a family wedding and then at Disney, Legoland, and the beach.

The younger kids enjoyed the flights as much as some of the Disney rides.

We flew into Los Angeles and drove to Santa Maria where Taylor (my nephew - named after the ship that brought my mother to America) was being married to his college sweetheart, Sarah.

My sister, Teresa (named after my aunt who died as an infant), and my brother-in-law, Dan.
Sheridan and her cousin, Tucker, decided the occasion called for some fancy dancing.

Elliott and Oliver were groomsmen

With guitars, back packs, luggage, and a 50 pound suitcase filled with food, we headed to Anaheim, CA after the wedding to enjoy a great vacation.

We feared we were headed into the belly of the beast leaving our conservative, southern town in Virginia for carefree California but we were pleasantly surprised to see the places we visited were no different than our hometown in the south.

Disney always impresses us with their first class service, impeccable facilities, and family-friendly atmosphere.

During the evening turn-down service the housekeeping staff prepares your bed for the night and leaves a treat on the pillow. Our first night they surprised us with rice crispy Mickey Mouse treats with the ears dipped in dark chocolate. Yum!

One of our first stops was to the Lego store in Downtown Disney.
Stephen was never more than a phone call away - which Meredith really looked forward to each day.
Meredith looks so good expecting. Although little Maggie is measuring right on schedule, Meredith has the smallest tummy.
Welcome to Disneyland!

Meredith spent most of her ride time on the carousels in the parks.

Hey Oliver, there may have been a height restriction on walking through Mickey's miniature house.

Elliott and Oliver took Sullivan and Harrison to Legoland one day. They had so much fun!

Tim and the girls all went to enjoy a day in the sun while the boys were at Legoland.
Tim and Sheridan heading out to ride some waves. The California water was so cold that Meredith and I were quite content staying on the shore.
Sullivan celebrated his 12th birthday while we were at Disney
Happy birthday, sweet Sullivan. You bring so much happiness and laughter into our lives. We love you so much!
We made a make-shift birthday cake out of Little Debbie brownies and candles.
Sheridan never left the hotel without speaking to Goofy in the lobby.
The hotel had a movie theater where children could watch Disney movies.
The parks had great fireworks or light shows each evening.
That's one mighty nice big brother to hold a big 10 year old on his shoulders during an entire show so the younger brother could see.
Being an Alexander means that most nights have to conclude with a bowl of ice cream.
The hotel has an all Disney TV channel where bedtime stories are read to the children each night.
It sure made going to bed a lot more fun for Sheridan.

Raw milk can be purchased in the stores in CA. We loaded up when we arrived so we'd have milk to go on the many boxes of coupon bargain cereal we brought in our suitcase.
We cooked out for most of our meals. What great memories we made working together to fix meals each day.

We had so much fun swimming in the pools at the resort.

The older guys enjoyed 5am swims, some of us waited for the heat of the day and best sun, and Timmy and I looked forward to the hot tub at night.

Meredith and Maggie soaking in the warm California sun.
Everyone loved the wet rides.
Sheridan rode the "Tower of Terror", a fast-dropping elevator ride. It starts with scary Twilight Zone music so Sheridan would close her ears and eyes.
A trip to an amusement park has no shortage of waiting in lines.
We love those silly pictures they take while you're on the rides.
Meredith took Sheridan to the Princess Breakfast one morning.
Sheridan loved meeting all the princesses.

We are blessed to have some adoring princes and our very own little princess in our family.
At Sheridan's request, Elliott sweetly agreed to help her practice her fancy dancing.
On our last night in Disney, we enjoyed the big parade.
Oliver and I went to the parade area long before it began to save seats so we'd be able to see everything. We were very close!
Mary Poppins
After a fun-filled vacation, we headed home with many happy memories filling our thoughts. We are so thankful that the Lord allowed us to enjoy such a wonderful time together.

The Message of the Box

2011-08-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

We have an old, wooden box in our family room that serves as a coffee table but more importantly - a reminder of where we came from and how we want to live. The box is very special to me because it once contained every single earthly possession that my mother, aunt, and grandparents owned when they came to the United States as immigrants from Hungary.

They had endured much turmoil as their country was torn apart in World War II and they were displaced and living as refugees prior to coming to America. It was during this time that my grandparents faced the sorrow of burying their four month old baby girl, my Aunt Theresia, who died from starvation. My mother remembers her parents going from one farmer to the next begging for milk for her little sister whom my grandmother was too malnourished to nurse. As refugees, they did not receive any compassion so the baby did not survive.

Thankful for the offer to work for a Norfolk, VA businessman in exchange for travel expenses aboard the U.S.S. General Taylor, my grandfather gathered up his wife and two daughters and headed to the land of opportunity. Every possession needed for a family of four to begin a new life was neatly placed in the single box.

One might assume that my mother and aunt, in an effort to never again face such poverty, would have become intent on amassing material possessions and large bank account balances. However, they have lived their entire adult lives in complete agreement with the message of the box: Live simple, be grateful for what you have, and value family over possessions.

It was in this spirit that my aunt called me a couple of months ago to discuss my sister's son's upcoming wedding in California. She said that she knew how difficult it would be for my family to make a road trip across the country. She explained that she had accumulated more money than she needed and wanted to bless my family with airfare to California. And not only my family, but also my sister's family living in Florida, and my mom living in North Carolina.

At first thought, it seemed unconscionable to accept such an extravagant gift. But as I began to reflect on the kind and selfless traits that have always characterized my aunt, it seemed only prideful to decline her offer. So because of Nana's generosity, we were able to fly to my nephew's wedding and then even enjoy a vacation afterward!

How very blessed I am to have an aunt who, through her example, comes alongside my family and permeates my children's lives with her testimony of simplicity and generosity.

In Nana's desire to live simple and value family over possessions she whispers the message of the box. How blessed my family is to be part of her life.

Nana with the kids

Thank you, Nana, for flying all of us to California!
(My sister's family, my mom, and my family)

The Sisters are Reunited

2011-08-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

We counted down the months, then days, then hours until our sweet Meredith returned from England. What joy to see Meredith, with her adorable expectant tummy, as we ran to greet her in the airport.

As only the Lord could do, the details all fell into place for Meredith to return to the states a couple of weeks before Stephen so she could accompany us to a family wedding in California.

Sheridan couldn't be any happier to have her sweet roommate sleeping snuggly next to her.

We are so excited to have a chance to visit and to share in this exciting time in Meredith and Stephen's lives as they return to the states and prepare for their first baby's arrival. Little Margaret Alice seems happy too as she visibly bounces around in her mama's tummy. What wonderful days these are!

Fun-Filled Weekend

2011-07-13T21:40:00.000-07:00

Free Food at Chick-fil-A

We were excited to hear about the free Chick-fil-A day last Friday. If you dressed like a cow, you got a free meal.

As exciting as it sounded, I didn't figure that cow costume-making would fit into my day after taking the younger children for a play date at the lake with friends and then rushing home to put the first coat of paint on our newly sanded kitchen floor.

However, Tim and Oliver showed their hidden costume-creating talent as they gathered feed bags, spray paint, duct tape, and old clothes and outfitted the whole bunch of us. They even made a costume for Jason, our farm intern.

We didn't put too much pressure on Zach, our other intern, to dress for the occasion since he's a vegetarian but we enjoyed taking him along for ice cream and french fries.

A fun night and another adventure in the Alexander quest to find free food!

A Day at Polyface Farm

We were excited to be among the nearly 2000 people from all over the U.S. who attended Polyface Farm's big tour that is held only once every three years.

Joel Salatin
(The farmer we're all trying to copy!)

The kids loved seeing so many of their farming friends there. I can't describe the feeling of hope I have for this country when I'm around these outstanding young adults. They're the best.

Sheridan, like Meredith at the same age, loves making new friends everywhere she goes.

Sam, Lucy, and Sheridan

We came home from the farm day challenged, inspired, and encouraged. What a great day.

Family Economics Conference Reunion

On Sunday afternoon we hosted a fellowship for new friends we met at the Family Economics Conference in Raleigh last March.

What a wonderful afternoon spent under the shade trees, chatting with new friends, while all the children enjoyed swinging, roasting marshmallows, and making memories.

With a weekend this fun, our summer is off to a great start.
Ah - we can't wait to share the details of the wonderful and unexpected blessing the Lord has arranged for our family to make some incredible memories together...

Till then.....

Our Favorite Couple's Retreat

2011-07-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, quite out of the blue, Timmy and I decided to put our work aside for a couple of days and head to our all time favorite couple's retreat: the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

Oh the memories that we have made both as a couple and as a family at the beaches of North Carolina and Virginia.

As a young dating couple 28 years ago, most of our outings involved trips to the beach.

I remember sewing a white eyelet skirt with matching sleeveless blouse in anticipation of a date that would include an oceanfront dinner and an evening walk on the beach. I recently came across the photo of the cute polka-dotted swimsuit cover-up I made for a daytime beach trip that had to revolve around my working schedule at Chick-fil-A. I recall, as if it were yesterday, one our most important dating conversations taking place as the sun set and we sat together in the lifeguard stand eating watermelon.

A beach date was never complete without a visit to Bergey's - the dairy that made the absolute best homemade ice cream ever. I have such wonderful memories of our many dates that were centered around the beach.

After having been married for 3 weeks, we concluded that we'd rather have a tent than a vacuum cleaner so we traded in the wedding gift and headed to a beach-side campground for a memorable first camping experience together.

As God blessed us with children, all our vacations were spent camping at the beach and playing with the sweet little people in our lives. The picture of Timmy playing in the waves with one, then two, then finally six children will be forever etched on my memory.

A couple of weeks ago as Timmy and I drove around looking at all the familiar sights of the Outer Banks, I had one distinct memory of a time that wasn't too happy. We were in our mid-twenties and Timmy was still on the road to becoming the family man he is today. He was finding that fishing was oftentimes much more attractive than his family responsibilities and he would steal away to the pier as often as he could which was causing more than a little bit of tension in our marriage.

One weekend in particular he offered, quite unexpectedly, to take us to the Outer Banks, about one and a half hours away from home, for a camping trip. I was overjoyed by Timmy's renewed desire to spend time with the family.

You can imagine my surprise the first morning after arriving when we were enjoying a leisurely breakfast as a fishing buddy from work suddenly appeared at our restaurant booth and exclaimed, "Hey man. How much longer until you're out on the pier?! We've been waiting for you forever!" The motive for the family trip was suddenly exposed and I was certainly not a happy camper!

Timmy and I laughed so hard last week as we recalled the incident of more than two decades earlier.

A trip to the Outer Banks always includes a meal at our all time favorite restaurant - Owens', as well as several visits to the area ice cream shops. As a matter of fact, some of the made-up bedtime stories that I used to tell my children even included the ongoing adventures of visiting the beach ice cream shop where the door knob turned into a large, edible gumball as soon as you entered the store.

Although we're middle-aged now, a trip to the beach on a "couple's retreat" always includes wave riding or as some people call it, body-surfing (although it's much more like body-slamming when the wave tosses you around and drops you like a lead brick on the shallow shore line). Wave riding is non-negotiable for Timmy. His bride must always be willing to ride waves with him at intervals throughout the day.

On the first day of our trip I insisted that it wasn't advisable for us to ride waves when the lifeguards had out the "DANGEROUS SURF" flags and we heard that they already had to rescue someone earlier that day.

But on the second day, the waves were manageable even if the water was bone-chilling cold.

During our drying-off, catching-our-breath-breaks, we both enjoyed reading books or looking at magazines. Timmy was all about the farm with his "Pasture Quality" book but I was in serious relaxing mode as I scanned my favorite magazines. I only hoped my cell phone quality was not too sharp as farm business calls came and I answered them over the background noise of squawking sea gulls and crashing waves.

Before leaving our short but wonderful mini-vacation, I scooped up a bag of sand to carry home to the royal blue metal tin that sits on my back porch in the country - so far from sandy shores. Once home again and unpacking, I enjoyed watching Sheridan play on the porch contentedly with the added inches of sand in what she considers a sand box.

I am aware more than ever that these days spent as a couple are of great worth beyond measure. To have weathered the storms of life together, while enjoying the unspeakable blessing of these children that God has given us, is a treasure beyond description. Our couple's retreat reminded me of these gifts once again and gave me a renewed appreciation for the many happy memories in my life that occurred around the sun, the sand, and the shore.

Winter Review

2011-07-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

As I look back over the pictures in my camera's memory of the winter months and all the things that I didn't take time to record for my children's benefit, I'm reminded that it's only now that I feel I'm coming out of one of the biggest seasons of adjustment that I've ever known.

No one could have prepared me for how much I would miss an oldest daughter, once married and living in another country, who had been committed to and enjoyed first and foremost spending time with her family. Oh the void that was left when Meredith married in December.

One of the worst parts of the sadness was the continual frustration I felt for having even one minute of sorrow when my daughter was married to a young man that we were confident was the very best, finest husband God could have ever given her. I was so grateful that my daughter now had the long awaited and hoped-for joy of being a wife. How could I be sad and missing her so badly?!

Yet, the sadness rested like a gray cloud over many of my days. Since so few people we know have daughters who worked from home and truly prioritized their family's interests above their own, and even fewer have daughters who moved out of the country after marrying, I found it best to just keep my thoughts to myself. I didn't figure anyone understood the loss we felt.

But now, finally, the sun is shining - after 6 months.

I'm okay that Meredith isn't sitting next to me late at night as we would both do our computer work when the house was quiet. I've adjusted to wearing a new dress for the first time and my house mostly full of boys not noticing. I'm thankful the bath towel with Meredith's name embroidered on it still hangs neatly in our bathroom because it gives me an opportunity to pray for her and Stephen as I straighten the towels each day.

Finally, it doesn't hurt anymore. The cloud has lifted and the sun is shining.

Sure, we talk about her all the time and long for just one more batch of her chocolate chip cookies but overall, our happiness for Meredith and her new life far outweighs our missing her.

Although I doubt it has anything to do with the sun finally appearing, did I mention that she's coming to see us in just 20-some days?!

Alright, maybe that's causing the clouds to part just a bit but I still feel like I'm over the worst of the season of adjusting.

So, I better record the months of memories since the wedding so they won't be lost in my camera forever.

The winter in a nutshell.....

We purposed to have a very relaxing winter after having spent the whole year preparing for Meredith's wedding. We decided we'd do as little as possible, avoid starting up any new projects, and try to put as much relaxation into our days as we could.

The younger kids, Timmy, and I enjoyed a trip to Pennsylvania where Timmy attended a farm conference. It was held in Lancaster so we were able to see the way the Amish live.

We had one memorable adventure, that I don't soon want to forget, due to our backroad-loving GPS.

After dropping Timmy off at the conference the first morning, the younger crew and I headed to find the hotel where we would be staying.

Being geographically challenged (in a big way!), I dutifully followed every single direction given to me by my trusty GPS.

(Story line for another day: "How the GPS Saved My Marriage" Subtitle: "The Relief the GPS Brings to a Woman Directionally Challenged Yet Married to a Geographic Genius Who Displays No Patience for a Map-Ignorant Wife")

Back to my trusty GPS - We were a very short 10 minute drive from the hotel although I didn't realize the great lengths in which my GPS would go to take me on the shortest route.

At first, we were enjoying a great look at the Amish community up close while we drove by their homes. Then, as I continued to follow the path on the screen of my non-threatening, always inspiring electronic travel companion and guide, I noticed that we had left the lined paved road for an unlined paved road and were suddenly on a gravel road that required us to drive very slowly.

At this point, my children became interested in the trip and began to wonder, like me, if we were getting ready to pull up in someone's driveway. Yet the GPS led me on as if this were the path everyone traveled en route to our hotel.

The gravel road began to narrow and as we drove even slower, the Amish people whose houses were closely lining both sides of the road now, began to look at us with suspicion. The trees formed a tunnel as they shaded the road which had turned from gravel to dirt and I could tell the van was heading down into a sort of valley. I realized that the road was so narrow, there would be no way for an oncoming car to pass me.

I wondered if this type situation was normal in Amish communities and if passersby simply waited for one another to complete the drive on the one lane road before attempting it themselves.

Suddenly that thought was lost as I realized on the tree-covered, one lane, dirt path that my trusty GPS was leading me to cross a small, running river!! Oh no! I couldn't back up or I'd have to drive my 12 passenger van in reverse for the last mile since entering this path.

So I calmly said to the children, whose full attention was on the terrain by now, "Oh, this same thing happened to Granddaddy and Grandma one time when their GPS took them down a strange path to Yellowstone Park." What else could I do but hide my fear behind a smile and begin to cross the river like some mud-bogging pioneer woman?!

I held my breath, put the pedal to the medal, and drove through the rushing river as quickly as I possibly could!

Forty-five minutes after my trusty GPS took me on the shortest route to our destination, we arrived safely (without a wet van interior) at our hotel.

I was plagued with fear all day as I thought about the return trip necessary to pick Timmy up from his conference, and I suppose Sheridan was too. As soon as we got in the van, she insisted that Sullivan not sit in his normal seat but instead sit next to her to keep her safe when we "crossed the river."

Thankfully, my trusty GPS chose a completely different path for the return trip (which it often does although I don't know why!) and we avoided the rushing river altogether.

On the way home we gave the GPS a much-deserved break and let my geographic genius lead the way.

The pool in PA where Sheridan dunked under the water for the first time ever

While in Pennsylvania, we went to the Hershey Factory and learned about what a devoted Christian man Mr. Hershey was and the many great things he did during his lifetime.

We enjoyed our annual family Super Bowl party with all the fixin's although it sure was different without Meredith there to join in the fun.

We made terrific hot wings with some of Elliott's grass fed chicken.

We celebrated Sheridan's big 4 year old birthday in February. What an incredible gift she is to our family. We are so thankful God gave this sweet little girl to us!

Meredith gave Sheridan a book where Meredith's voice is recorded. Sheridan loves to hear Meredith read her the story during quiet time each day.

Timmy and I took a day trip to Pennsylvania to visit a couple of ice cream stores and the local farms that supply the milk for the gourmet ice cream shops.

We've since purchased a small commercial ice cream machine and are making the most delicious ice cream imaginable. Today's flavors were mocha with chocolate chips and Irish cream with toasted buttery pecans and almonds. We keep wanting to give it to friends but we can't stop eating it as fast as it comes out of the machine!

Kilby Creamery in Maryland

Below is another farm we visited on our day trip that specializes in homemade ice cream. The Stoltzfus family was so welcoming as we dropped by unannounced to visit their operation.

I loved this chore list, complete with fines, that served as a guideline for the 11 children working on the family farm.

We celebrated Elliott's 20th birthday in March. As we realize that this young man will likely soon head out to begin a family of his own, we're more aware than ever what a treasure he is to our family. Our children are so blessed to have such a kind and loving brother.

Over the cold months, we attended many conferences that encouraged us in our farming venture. From growing a variety of pastures to turning silos into bed & breakfasts, we learned so much!

Lastly, when we weren't doing anything else, we watched a library assortment of Bonanza, Green Acres, and the old Leave it to Beaver series. It was a wonderfully relaxing winter and a great time to unwind after a stressful year of many, many farm projects. Now that the work of summer is upon us, we have the sweet memories of a quiet, fun-filled winter behind us and the hope of a duplicate winter in front of us!

Happy Birthday, Harrison!

2011-06-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

What a great day we had celebrating Harrison's 10th birthday Thursday, June 23rd. We enjoyed a long visit in the toy store, while Harrison spent his birthday money, then headed to a newly opened steak restaurant in our area.

Harrison didn't know what else to do except comply as the restaurant's wait staff suddenly gathered around him and told him to sit on the saddle that seemed to appear from nowhere. We all cheered in excitement as they shouted to the restaurant patrons that Harrison was turning 10 and they requested that everyone give him a big "YEEHAW!" What fun!

A family tradition that the kids never let us forget is the retelling of the birth story as each child celebrates his or her birthday.

One memorable part of Harrison's birth story is when I realized (late at night and very anxiously) that I was farther along in the labor than I thought and I feared I'd deliver at home unexpectedly.

As Timmy talked with the midwife on the phone, she suggested he call an ambulance to transport me to the nearest hospital instead of the birthing center I had chosen. When Timmy hung up, I insisted he not call an ambulance but instead drive me quickly to the hospital himself. Although reluctant to disregard the midwife's instructions, he agreed to drive me but said we needed to leave immediately.

He took my hand and started leading me to the door but since it was late at night I only had on one of Timmy's big t-shirts instead of pajamas. I told him he needed to go upstairs and get me my skirt from church earlier that day to which he replied, "Don't be proud! Go like you are!"

This is when the vicious laboring mom appeared and I said, "You go upstairs and get my skirt! I am NOT going to the hospital in a t-shirt and underwear!!"

I'm surprised that I recall a sense of fashion contentment as I got in the truck wearing a man's over-sized t-shirt and a bright green floral skirt with bare feet.

I remember a very rough and speedy drive to the hospital, the receptionist in the ER who tried unsuccessfully to make me fill out paperwork between contractions, and the labor and delivery nurse who asked me to lie flat on my back to be checked for progress.

I wasn't able to extend the same firm but courteous response I gave to the ER receptionist and I ended up getting uncharacteristically loud and grouchy with the L&D nurse. Another of our funny memories was of the nurse and me in a battle of wills and Timmy saying, in an effort to diffuse the raging tempers, "We're all friends here. We're all friends!"

Harrison was born within 15 minutes of my arrival at the hospital. He was our biggest baby at 10 pounds, 3 ounces. We were home in time for lunch and were greeted by four happy siblings including an almost 2 year old big brother who excitedly announced, "A baby! A baby!"

What a gift our Harrison Spencer has been to us. We are so blessed to have had the joy of living with this precious boy for 10 years! Happy birthday, sweet Harrison. We love you so much!

The Snicker Bar Tradition

2011-04-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

Sheridan joins in the
Alexander Family Snicker Bar Tradition

I don't know when the Snicker Bar Tradition first began but it seems it has been part of our family for as long as I can remember.

When our children reach the age where they are brave enough to put their head under water, they receive as their reward an entire Snicker bar to enjoy all by themselves.

I always cringe as I watch my preschoolers eat a whole candy bar but I can testify that it is the only time they do so until they're in their preteens
(or without their mother observing!).

The tradition gained momentum when Nikki, a neighbor friend who became such a wonderful blessing to our family, was encouraged to compete for a Snicker bar of her own.

Nikki was a few years older than Meredith and since her hard-working, single mother wasn't able to be home during the day, Nikki became part of our lives as we enjoyed taking her with us to the pool, beach, church, and even family vacations.

She was always filled with laughter, love for the younger children, and appreciation for the smallest of things.

I remember my excitement when coordinating the holiday parties as the room mother for Nikki's third grade class. I also vividly remember a time when Nikki was in her early teens and she, so uncharacteristically, got angry with me and slammed the door to the bedroom where she stayed when visiting with us.

As a mother with toddlers and elementary aged children, I didn't know quite what to do about her defiant display but was certain some action should be taken. Wanting to rid Nikki of similar future outbursts, I decided on what I thought might be an appropriate discipline and insisted she slam the door 100 times until she was completely free from her door-slamming desire.

After only a few slams, Nikki's tender heart broke although I insisted the prescribed remedy for future outbursts be met.

I'll never forget the confused look on Timmy's face when he arrived that evening and instead of entering a peaceful, happy home, he stood speechless as one young lady was crying and slamming the door repeatedly while the 30-something mom was counting,
"Fifty-five, fifty-six..."

Nikki is now in her mid-twenties with children of her own yet she will always hold such a special place in our hearts. Recalling that she, as a preteen, and Oliver, as a toddler, earned their Snicker bars at the same time serves as yet one more precious recollection of my younger years as a mother.

I hope I will never forget the memories God has allowed me to make with these polliwogs He has so graciously sent into my life.

Nikki, Meredith, and Oliver

Past Inductees in the Alexander Snicker Bar Tradition

Harrison

Sullivan

Sullivan's New Book

2011-03-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

Sullivan, age 11, would like to invite young readers to enjoy the book he's writing. Chapters are being added to the website page entitled "Sullivan's Book" as they are completed.

Sullivan has submitted this introduction for his readership to enjoy:

"Thirty years into the future.....
a time of duels and dogfights, races and robots, when good is in a constant war with evil, and it's up to two men to keep a star on the American flag...."

A word from the author:

"I, Sullivan Alexander, have been prompted to create a Christian Star Wars. My ambition is to add some nutrition to the science fiction diet many kids my age enjoy. I, as a Christian, believe God can perform miracles any time and at any place. I do not like immoral books or shows and can promise that in this series there will be: no prejudice, no pornography, and no Pantheism."

We hope you enjoy the book, young readers.

Organized Cabinets and Training Older Sons

2011-03-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

As we returned from the Family Economics Conference more than a week ago, I continue to be challenged and encouraged by the messages we heard. Most impacting was a talk by Kevin Swanson where he put affirming words to what has only been a quiet thought in my heart.

When Elliott and Oliver were in their early teens, I sensed an overwhelming need for someone besides me - their mother - to prepare them for what would be the next chapter in their lives - that of becoming men.

From the time they were old enough to begin homeschooling, I had felt confident in overseeing their academic studies and routine household responsibilities. But as they matured, it seemed that in my effort to keep them busy and productive, I was filling their days with projects and activities more suited for the training of girls.

Who would expect any differently? I am a girl!

I don't know how to train boys in manly things like chopping down trees or installing new brakes on a car. I don't know how to wire an electrical outlet or replace a piece of rusty pipe while on my belly under the house.

What I do know how to do is organize the canned goods in my kitchen cabinets - so that's what I had my boys doing after school. Straightening cabinets, an occasional changing of a light bulb, cutting the grass, laundry, and house cleaning... these jobs didn't keep two strong boys busy and productive for very long at all.

Surely the challenge to find manly, industrious activities for growing sons was not just a problem in the Alexander household. I imagined if I were still part of a homeschool group, we'd all be talking about what to do with these sons who needed to be trained in manliness. Of course, most of the moms stopped going to support groups when the kids got bigger because our experience helped us feel more confident with homeschooling.

However, as the kitchen cabinets became neater, I become increasingly concerned.

I remember vividly the day I poured my heart out to Timmy, telling him about my concern for our maturing sons and their need for a man in their lives who could mentor them throughout the day in manliness while discipling them in godliness. As our discussion ended, I began praying that God might open a door for our sons to be taught by a man who could best lead them into the next phase of their lives.

After two years of praying, the door of opportunity finally opened and an instructor stepped into my boys' lives who is not only the most qualified to lead them in manliness, but who also cares more about them than any man I know.

April 20th will mark four years since God let Timmy come home to mentor his sons full time.

I have no greater admiration than I do for Timmy who left a challenging, fulfilling career that he enjoyed so that he could invest in the training of his sons. He left the praise of supervisors and the camaraderie and respect of his subordinates so that he might pour himself into the lives of his children.

While at the Family Conference, my suspicion was confirmed that ours was not the only family sensing the need for sons to be mentored by men in a close, daily, working relationship.

As it turns out, fathers working with sons daily had been the practice for all of civilization prior to the last few hundred years since the Industrial Revolution that lured men away from home and into factories and a working world separate from their families.

As I listened to the historical overview, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness that God, in His mercy, allowed Timmy to come home to work with his children. From a financial perspective, with our past foolish business decisions and pride-filled motives of past endeavors, we don't deserve to have an at-home dad. Yet God is allowing Timmy to work alongside his family every day.

In Kevin Swanson's closing, he challenged the men both young and old with a powerful charge that I hope my sons won't soon forget. It is especially relevant to Timmy and me as we stumble through the parenting of these older sons - barely figuring it out before it's time for them to leave us. Swanson said, "Rather than lament the many failings of your father, instead build on whatever small foundation he laid for you. Stand on your father's shoulders so that you'll be that much closer to the goal. Some of you have fathers who stood ten feet tall - stand on their shoulders and become great men of God. Some have fathers who could barely stand six inches from the ground - stand tall and proud on those six inches and become a great man of God."

Although we may only be lifting our sons a few inches off the ground, I pray they will stand on their sincere father's shoulders and become great men of God.

I'm certain of this, it's a much more attainable goal than when their mom had them alphabetizing canned goods!

Avery's Branch Farms Summer Internships

2011-03-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful experience last year working with a college student who spent the summer with us learning about sustainable agriculture.

This year we have 2 intern openings and are looking for young men who are at least 18 years old, have exemplary character, a strong work ethic, and are eager to learn.

The interns will have the opportunity to work closely in an all natural farm setting, learning the skills required to successfully manage and operate a sustainable farm.

If you know of anyone who might be interested, please direct them to our farm website for additional details.

Family Conference on Finances

2011-02-22T16:44:00.000-08:00

Our family is looking forward to attending Generations with Vision's conference held this year in Raleigh, NC on March 11-12th. Generations with Vision is a ministry focused on family finances and headed by Kevin Swanson. Last year's conference was held in Colorado and sold out. With over 1100 attendees already registered for this upcoming conference in Raleigh, space is limited. The topics are so relevant for families in these tough economic times. We are looking forward to gaining some much-needed wisdom and encouragement. We hope you'll be able to join us.

Excerpted from Generations with Vision:

"Our speakers will cover many topics pertinent and timely to our current economic and social decline, including:

Unemployment: What to Do When There's Nothing to Do
The Proverbs 31 Family
What Every Family Should Know About Starting Their Own Business
A Vision of Victory for the Family
The College Paradigm and the Family Economy
How to Train Your Son to be Financially Prepared for Marriage
Sacrifice or Slavery - Building a Christian Community for the Hard Times

With America's top keynote speakers, including Doug Phillips, Erik Weir, Stephen Beck, Kevin Swanson, RC Sproul Jr., Scott Brown, and more, this is one conference your family can't miss! Check out the full schedule available online for detailed information. Make sure to check out our special panel on "Family Based Entrepreneurs" where real families will be sharing their stories on how they have created family businesses in various areas including agriculture, construction, manufacturing, sales, and more!"

Family Economics Conference 2011

2011-02-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

We have several exciting additions to our details for the 2011 Family Economics Conference. We are over 3/4 of the way filled to capacity and have only a limited space remaining for signups, so register online now before it's too late!

Schedule Online
A tentative schedule for the 2011 Conference is now available online with titles and speakers. Also, check out our newly updated speakers page for more information on speakers.

Special Entertainment
Stay tuned for updates on our scheduled entertainment, including a performance from the award-winning Winton's Band – a supercharged father/son bluegrass band that has lived the family-integrated economic vision as they homeschool their children in California, and on the road around the United States.

Family Based Entrepreneurs

Make sure to check out our special panel on "Family Based Entrepreneurs" where real families will be sharing their stories on how they have created family businesses in various areas including agriculture, construction, manufacturing, sales, and more!

Alexander Family

The Alexander family has truly diversified in agriculture and land-based business endeavors. Natural eggs, grass-fed poultry, pork, seasonal produce, milk, tractor services, peanuts, and real estate service - the 8 member Alexander family has found plenty of business endeavors to remain busy and productive.

Hernandez Family

With 8 kids under the age of 10, Tony Hernandez has plenty to keep him busy in the home. But 8 children isn’t all the Hernandez family keeps busy with each day. As a serial entrepreneur, Tony has worked in construction, sales, printing, and various business and ministry endeavors, all in the context of his own family and vision for the kingdom of God.

Courter Family

If you didn’t think backyard manufacturing was possible, you haven’t met the Courter family. Anthony Courter has developed a manufacturing business in his own backyard to a nationally-respected, full scale manufacturing operation in the solar industry. By tediously caring for every detail of the business, involving his family, and leveraging his success to then invest in his community through relationships and mentoring, Anthony Courter and his family have developed a family economy that has equipped them to serve their community and church in many incredible ways.

Seppi Family

The Seppi family is an industrious homeschool family that has built a bee and honey business over a multi-state area. Working together, the Seppi family has established a profitable agricultural enterprise which has exposed their family to the many freedoms and opportunities of family-based economics.

And we’re just getting started folks! You'll also hear from the Chapa Family, Cheney Family, Miller Family, and more!

Remembering Jonathan Elijah Donahue

2011-02-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

It has been one year since the home-going of Jonathan Elijah, the Donahue's precious baby boy. In remembrance of Jonathan's life and the powerful testimony of his parents, their story is being republished.

As the family grieves the loss of Jonathan all over again at this one year mark, I know they would be blessed to know you're praying for them. Words of encouragement can be sent to:
thedonahues7@verizon.net

January 30, 2010

A Saint Among Us

After waking in the middle of the night, I (Joy) couldn't quickly return to restful sleep as sorrow-filled thoughts evaded my consciousness. As has been the case so often during the past few months, the quietness of the night brings the reminder of a fierce trial that surrounds a close friend.

On Friday, November 13th, I received a call from Joanna. I was excited to hear her voice, knowing that she was probably calling to share the good news of her twenty week, mid-pregnancy ultrasound. The tone of her voice caused me to sit down quickly as I could tell something was wrong. With calmness in her sorrow, she said the ultrasound showed a serious medical condition that would surely take the life of their baby at birth. I listened in disbelief, my mind racing with a flood of possible solutions and ways to avoid the projected outcome. Then I came to the end of my inward fighting against the truth and asked if she could tell me the details once again. This time as I listened with acceptance, my heart felt as if it would break in two. A baby who was growing and kicking like any other healthy baby was going to die? How could it be? Yet the fact remained - their baby had a condition called Anencephaly and would surely die shortly after the birth. There was no cure. No medical intervention would save the life of this much loved baby. Our conversation ended with the question whose answer is usually joyously announced, "Did you find out what it is?" Joanna's voice broke as she said, "It's a boy."

I have never walked beside someone faced with so great a trial or difficult assignment from the Lord. Yet as I have watched Joanna's response to this terribly painful battle, I am convinced there is a saint among us.

Never in my life have I seen a Christian so quickly submit and humble herself under the mighty hand of God. Surely there is much turmoil in Joanna's heart, yet outwardly she has maintained a posture of submission to the Lord's will. Anger, sarcasm, and stubbornness - reactions of many when faced with a trial - are far from Joanna's speech and attitude. Instead, she has relied on God to carry her through her sorrow-filled days and she has come to Him as the loving Father that He is.

At the onset of the trial, Joanna was met with the option of aborting her son, which some might justify in light of the fact that he is destined to die regardless. Yet, she resolved to honor the life God placed in her care by loving her son fully for however many days God gave her to share with him. He was given the name "Jonathan Elijah".

As news spread of Jonathan's condition, she was met with well-meaning friends who, despite the certain fatal outcome, challenged Joanna to either claim a miracle of healing or deny, through faith, the existence of the condition. Both suggestions only serve to further exhaust a soldier who is already overcome by the battle in which they are immersed. Instead of weeping with those who weep, onlookers often add to the burden by assigning an additional challenge that forces the battle-torn soldier to delve into a theological debate defending her beliefs regarding the practice of claiming miracles. Even worse are those who inadvertently challenge the soldier's faith by equating the battle to the supposed lack of belief in the power of God to perform a miracle. Lord, forgive us for doing this to our weary brothers and sisters. In this phase of the battle, Joanna remained steadfast though her heart was wounded.

The next wave of grief would come from those friends who, because they didn't know what to say, said nothing at all about the great sorrow that rested on their friend's shoulders. They didn't realize that in their silence, it was perceived that they didn't care that this dear girl was facing the greatest trial of her life. A simple, "I'm so sorry" would have been sufficient. A card or a quick email reminding her that prayers were being lifted up on her behalf would have have been like drops of water on a dry, parched ground. Yet, Joanna only briefly mentioned the sorrow related to their silence. She quickly turned her focus back to her Lord and did not dwell on the much-needed support from friends.

Joanna has spoken so highly of the care she has received from her midwife, the high-tech medical team, and support from an organization that cares for families whose children have life-limiting illnesses. As much as these people have given her, surely they are the greater recipients to have observed Joanna's God-given strength and grace throughout this trial.

Through a series of meetings and conferences the hospital has been prepared for Jonathan's arrival. Jonathan's toddler sister and four big brothers have all been prepared through twice weekly visits from hospice. Steve, Joanna's husband, has been a rock to which the family has anchored during the storm. God has paved a path of grace and provision for this precious family.

This Tuesday, February 2nd, Joanna will be admitted to the hospital to prepare for Jonathan's birthday. Prayer requests surrounding the details of the birth are many.

May God be glorified as Joanna has so beautifully offered her body as a living sacrifice. May Joanna feel the support of a multitude as they boldly lift her before the throne of grace in this, her hour of greatest need. May we, as fellow sojourners, learn from the example set before us through Joanna's submission in this sorrowful trial. There is a saint among us.

February 2010

Jonathan Elijah

Ushered into the Glory of Heaven February 2, 2010 ~ Born February 3, 2010How completely characteristic of the the Donahue family to have written on the board in their labor and delivery room the goal for the day: "Glorify God and Enjoy Him" - the answer to the first question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism. As a godly couple facing the trial of their lives, it is no surprise that they arrived at the hospital with the catechism's question printed on their minds - "What is the chief end of man?" As strong as soldiers headed into battle, Steve and Joanna were the picture of grace and strength during the birth of Jonathan Elijah. God answered their every prayer, though not in ways expected.Joanna had wanted Jonathan's siblings to meet him but was hesitant, not knowing how best she wanted the children to remember their brother. The Lord sent freezing rain so transporting the children to the hospital by the grandparents wasn't wise. God chose that the siblings would, instead, have beautiful pictures in which to remember Jonathan.
Requests were made that Steve and Joanna would have the grace and strength to love Jonathan completely and say good-bye at the same time. Evidence of greater love has never been witnessed by those who walked beside this family during the labor and birth.

We had prayed that Jonathan's passing would be peaceful and not filled with trauma. He died during the labor tucked safely beneath his mother's heart.
Today, a multitude of friends and family joined together at a snow-covered country church to memorialize Jonathan's life. One of the pastors and close friends who spoke said that Jonathan has done more for the cause of Christ in his short life than that of some Christians who live 80 years. We are forever changed by Jonathan's life. We are forever changed by observing his parents walk triumphantly through this very fierce trial.

Requests for comfort are now the greatest priority as they endure the season of grieving. How does one return to a busy life filled with the joys and challenges of parenthood with one, much-loved child missing? May God carry them close to His heart.

Steve, Joanna, and Jonathan - in your mission "To Glorify God and Enjoy Him," you have been successful. We are forever changed by your testimony.

Happy Weekend

2011-01-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

We had the unexpected treat of a visit with Meredith a couple of weekends ago. Her visa was delayed so Stephen had to return to England without her.

During her wait, she was able to fly to Virginia to spend a long weekend with us. We enjoyed our time with her so much. It was so nice to talk about the wedding, the excitement of her first few weeks as a wife, and the happiness that awaited her in England with Stephen.

Our family had become severely "dessert-deprived" since Meredith left so she baked us some treats.

It was like old times as Meredith joined us for our weekly trip to Denny's to eat the free meals we won last summer. Whereas the rest of us are really burning out on the Denny's menu, Meredith had just enough of a break to actually be excited about the pancake feast.

A visit wouldn't be complete without the snacks, candy, and laughter that family game time brings.

While Meredith was in town, Elliott offered to take us out to eat in appreciation for all the help we gave him last year during chicken processing season. We'll sure miss Meredith on chicken processing days. Although hard to imagine, those days are some of our funnest here on the farm as we tell jokes, listen to great music, and work together happily as a family in the processing area.
Before we knew it, our fun weekend was over and it was time to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye was much easier this time for all of us....

except sweet little sister Sheridan, who sobbed like the last time Meredith left. She loves Meredith so much and misses her terribly. How blessed she is to have a house full of sweet brothers who love her!

The Last Journal Entry

2011-01-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Meredith,

It's that time of year when I write in all the children's books. I hope you don't mind just printing and pasting this last entry into your journal since I gave the book to you already. It was just too hard to write the final entry before you left.

My life-long dream for you came true just one month ago as you became a wife. What joy awaits you in this new season of your life! A husband to love, a place of your own, maybe children one day - this is the beginning of the finest years ever.

As we continue to be amazed at the wonderful husband God gave you, Daddy and I are at complete peace saying good bye as we have assurance beyond a shadow of doubt that Stephen is God's choice for you. Stephen's desire to live a life pleasing to the Lord is surely his greatest defining characteristic and the one that brings us, as your parents, the greatest joy.

Remember how we used to wonder how and when and if God would send a husband for you? You were so focused on allowing God to write your story in His own way while you watched others around you marry and begin families. I admire the way you remained cheerful and busied yourself in serving your family during those waiting years.

I'll never forget the Sunday when you first told me about Stephen as we were driving together to deliver milk. Like a silly school girl I remember saying that you really needed Daddy's guidance because in my mind's eye, I could already visualize the wedding with you in your beautiful dress and "this Stephen guy" in his military uniform! I never imagined that my ramblings would one day become a reality.

Remember how exciting it was when he came to meet us and spend several days with our family? We wondered if Stephen would end up just being a new friend or if possibly he was "the one." I recently came across the pictures I was secretly taking from the upstairs windows of you two walking around the farm, talking to each other in person for the first time.

After Daddy and Stephen returned from one of several lengthy discussions during that first visit, and Daddy began telling me some of Stephen's answers to the 16 or 17 page typed questionnaire that Daddy had been using to guide their conversations, I could tell that a peace was settling over Daddy.

Eventually Daddy gave his blessing for Stephen to pursue courtship and marriage. I admire you for your humble attitude in asking another man - your dad - to assess a potential spouse. In the same way you would ask for Dad's opinion on real estate purchases, you did not hesitate to seek his wisdom in the area of choosing a mate. Only the strong subject themselves to the counsel of others. You, Meredith, are very strong indeed to have cut completely across the grain of society and defer to the wisdom of an older man in making such an important decision as to whom you might marry.

I am equally impressed by the way both you and Stephen began your relationship. I remember you had a list of the things that you wanted in a husband. Stephen shared with you what he wanted in a wife. Only once you were both sure those requirements would be met mutually did you allow yourselves to consider moving forward. How mature! How sensible. What an incredible foundation for your marriage.

A courtship turned into an engagement that quickly became a wedding date which turned the farm upside down!

This last year seemed to be almost completely focused on preparing for the wedding. Pages of projects needing to be completed were part of all our lives. What fun we had as we spent countless hours planning and dreaming and working to pull it all together!

A friend drew this picture of the farm as we dreamed it would look for the wedding.

We talked often about wanting the wedding day to be a blessing to others. I hope it was. It all felt like a such a flurry of activity that I barely remember any of the details. Once it was over and Oma and I began cleaning the house while Dad and the boys went out for milking, I missed you being here to talk about the memories that were made on the big wedding day that we had been planning for almost a year.

Even though we worked late into the night and were as tired as we've ever been, we sure were looking forward to you and Stephen stopping by Sunday afternoon on your way to your honeymoon destination. Although no one could have prepared us for how sad that short visit would be. It was as if Sheridan finally understood that you were really leaving and her little heart broke. When she held out her hands to you, begging you not to leave her, like a little child being left at a daycare center, we all cried.

Although Sheridan never comes downstairs after being tucked in at night, we weren't surprised when she tiptoed down the steps to our room at 1am. Rather than worry about fostering what might become a bad habit, Daddy and I just pulled her up in bed between us, knowing that she was missing you sleeping next to her.

Poor Dad missed you so badly that he went around the house choked up and with red eyes the Monday after the wedding and only muttered phrases like, "Meredith lived with us more than half of my life," or "She was with us for almost our entire marriage."

God was so gracious to hold off the snow until the day after the wedding.

Harrison said that he heard one of your favorite Christmas songs playing in the barn as he was going to feed the calves and thought he'd have to stop riding his bike for a minute because he felt so sad.

You'd be glad to know that as much trouble as he always gave you as his chore supervisor, he now is singing your praises and wishing you'd return to your position instead of his new demanding chore captain (me)!

I suppose everyone is shifting into their new positions to fill the gap you left behind. Elliott, knowing how much it means to me to see our friends' Christmas photos on the fridge, put them up as they arrived in the mail, just like you used to do. On a recent drive to Denny's for the free weekly meals we won, I asked everyone what they missed most about you being gone as our drive-time topic of discussion. Elliott quickly said, "Meredith's bread!" I'm sure you'd be as surprised as I was when Daddy and I were gone for a while the other day and returned home to find two freshly baked loaves of bread that Elliott made!

Filling your position has been a real challenge for me as the demands of the farm remain constant. The last day of chicken processing for the season was the worst as I rushed around the house trying to prepare lunch before heading outside to help that morning with the chickens - knowing we'd be coming in late, tired, and hungry hours later. On the kitchen counters were still bags of the non-perishable groceries from the late night trip to the store the night before. Then, as if it were some type of endurance test, the boys brought in four cases of milk jars needing washing and several weeks' worth of dirty cow towels. Whew! Somehow it all got done though.

Christmas was, of course, very different without you here but we were filled with joy as we began hearing about the fun, new life you were living as a newlywed. Stephen's family was so very kind to you over Christmas that we could only be happy for you to be loved by a whole new family.

Friends from all over, who knew what a treasure you were in our home, have sent us the kindest notes and have said they were praying for us during the transition time.

Alison Wilson so thoughtfully gave this to me to remember the love that a mother and daughter share.

Sheridan is slowly adjusting to sleeping alone and has found many new friends to surround her at bedtime. You can't imagine how long it takes us to get all these babies tucked in. Only Sheridan knows where each one prefers to sleep each night.

Sheridan would be disappointed to know that one of her baby's covers (far right) has come off during the night.

I suppose the transition of you being gone has been harder than we imagined because you were such a good friend to all of us. You've cheered us on when we were discouraged and you've chosen to see the better side in each of us. Rather than pursuing ventures that would have enabled greater self-advancement and independence like outside employment, on-campus college courses, and social networking, you chose to serve your family instead. You prepared meals, taught Bible verses to little ones, washed laundry, delivered milk, bushhogged lots, and countless other tasks. What a gift you were to our family!

So now I write the last page of the journal that was started for you when I was but a teenager hoping to one day be a wife and a mother. What a wonderful journey this has been. How blessed I am to have had you to spend my days with. How incredibly content I am to see you securely placed into the hands of such a fine man as Stephen. What joy I have as your mother to know that you will be cared for by a man with such outstanding character and with a strong desire to follow God. The two of you, who you are and who you're becoming, represent hope for a brighter world. May God do mighty things in your life as a couple surrendered and committed to doing His will. We, as your family, will enjoy seeing you both
live happily ever after.

I love you, Meredith!

Your happy Mama

Family Economics Conference 2011

2011-01-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

We invite you to join our family at this incredible conference on Family Economics in Raleigh, NC, March 11-12th. Last year this event was held in Colorado and sold out quickly with 800 in attendance. We hope to see you there!

The Wedding Budget

2011-01-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

When we first began planning the wedding, we didn't really know what to expect in the way of expenses.

The first shock was when Meredith and I (Joy) toured some potential venues for the wedding and reception. We saw churches that cost $2000 for a few hours of use and reception venues that were $7000 or $8000 - not including any food!

How can a family who is committed to no new debt provide a decent wedding and reception for a daughter in today's economy?

The endeavor would prove to be one of our greatest challenges yet.

Meredith had always dreamed of a traditional ceremony in an ornate church. For the reception, she hoped for a relaxed, fun setting in which the guests could do something more than just sit around.

As Meredith and I researched and visited various reception venues that we thought would be suitable, we realized that the ones able to accommodate our anticipated group of approximately 400 weren't any nicer than our farm.

We wondered if it were possible to transform our farm, which had been abandoned for years only nine months earlier, into a wedding reception venue.

Extensive lists containing pages of projects soon were discussed and distributed and the family took on the huge project with great enthusiasm. (Well, we weren't enthusiastic all the time. We were mostly exhausted and overwhelmed!)

As we appear to have been among the first of our friends with daughters approaching marrying age, we hope that our expense list will be an encouragement to them. God surely provided for us in miraculous ways and we're confident He will do the same for any family who relies on Him for help.

Wedding Attire for the Alexander Family

Bride:

Meredith Gown $ 30 Meredith purchased her dress second-hand. No cost to the budget!
$100 Dry Clean dress
Veil $ 0 Bartered

Groomsmen:

Elliott Tuxedo $ 35 Purchased second-hand
$ 4 Dry Clean ($2 each piece)
$ 20 Shirt, Cumberbund, Bow Tie (On sale at JCPenney's)

Oliver Tuxedo $ 35 Purchased second-hand
$ 4 Dry Clean ($2 each piece)
$ 20 Shirt, Cumberbund, Bow Tie (On sale at JCPenney's)

Sullivan Tuxedo $ 30 Complete outfit, New on Ebay (Price includes shipping)

Ring Bearer:

Harrison Tuxedo $ 30 Complete outfit, New on Ebay (Price includes shipping)

Flower Girl:

Sheridan $ 35 Purchased second-hand (Machine washable/no dry cleaning cost)

Father of the Bride:

Tim Tuxedo $ 0 Already owned
$ 4 Dry Clean ($2 each piece)

Mother of the Bride:

Joy Blouse $ 15 Holiday Blouse from Ross/TJ Maxx
Skirt $ 3 Floor Length satin skirt purchased second-hand

Total Wedding Attire Cost: $335

Stationery

Save the Dates $170
Invitations $950 (Meredith paid - No expense to budget *See note)
Postage $310
Wedding Programs $120

Total Stationery Cost: $600

*Note: Because Meredith wanted really nice invitations but always had her family's limited resources in mind, she baked and sold cheesecakes to the farm's customers to offset the cost of the invitations.

Ceremony

Church $250
Soloist $150
Organist $200
Coordinator $225 (Church staff required at events)
Janitors $225
Parking Garage $180 (Parking for guests)

Total Ceremony Cost: $1230

Photography, Videography, and Simulcasting

$1500 Many services bartered

Total Photography, Videography, and Simulcasting Cost: $1500

Flowers

Bride's Bouquet, Bridesmaid Bouquets, Groomsmen Boutonnieres, Corsages and Boutonnieres for family of bride and groom, Church Arrangements, and Reception Decorations

$500 Supply cost (All labor either bartered or generously donated by friends)

Total Flower Cost: $500

Reception

Dance Caller $ 375 Dance in barn loft

Live Band $ 0 Music in event tent (Bartered and/or generously provided by friends)

Rental Tents,
Tables, Chairs $1600 Main Event Tent (40x80), Outdoor kitchen tent (10x20), Tables and
Chairs for 100 guests

Rental Coffee Maker and (5) Insulated Beverage
Servers $ 100

Plates, Cups,
Forks, etc. $ 200 (Disposable)

Serving Utensils, Platters, Bowls, and Wedding Cake
Display Plates $ 125

Servers' Aprons $ 40 (Meredith monogrammed)

Wedding Cake $ 200 (Meredith made the wedding cake from her delicious cheesecakes)

Food & Beverage for
400+ Guests $1000 (Includes cost of raising pork, and menu consisting of Barbeque,
Pulled Pork, Green Beans, Fried Apples, Potato Salad, Cole Slaw,
Rolls, Appetizer of Cheese - made on the farm - and Crackers,
Hot Apple Cider, Tea, Coffee, and Cherries for the
Wedding Cheesecake)

Total Reception Cost: $3640

Miscellaneous Expenses

Pre-Wedding
Snack $ 100 (The wedding pictures were all taken at 10:30am prior to the wedding
at 1pm. A light snack was served at noon for approximately 70
people in the wedding party.)

Dessert Buffet $ 330 (A "Meet and Greet" was held at the Marriott Friday night prior
to the wedding day for the out-of-town guests. Desserts and coffee
were catered by the Marriott or generously prepared by friends for
approximately 75 guests.)

Gift Baskets $ 425 (Meredith prepared gift baskets for approximately 30 out-of-town
hotel guests.)

Directional
Signs $ 50 (Directing guests from church to farm for the reception)

Flower Girl Basket, Ring Bearer Pillow, Wedding Cake Knife and
Server $ 8 (Included shipping on Ebay)

Wedding
Guestbook $ 25

Reception Chafing Dish Fuel, Tent Heater Propane, Pig Cooker/Smoker
Propane $177

Bell Ringers'
Bells $ 27 (Found pretty porcelain bells at the Dollar Tree for each of the 27
Bell Ringers)

Beef
Processing $400 (Cost to process cow for bartered help)

Total Miscellaneous Cost: $1542

TOTAL WEDDING COSTS: $9347

One of the greatest resources that God gave us in planning an affordable wedding was a tremendous network of friends that sacrificially helped us in every way imaginable. We will never be able to thank them enough. Although a wedding threatens certain financial poverty, we've never felt so rich as we have when considering the great treasure in the friends God has given us.

From the wonderful crew of over a dozen who arrived several days before the wedding, to the great folks who helped on the wedding day, what an indescribable blessing they were to us!

One last thought regarding expenses... we tried to keep track of costs that were prioritized because of the wedding but were really in the category of farm infrastructure. These costs are related to projects or inventory that will help us with future events so we did not include them with the wedding budget.

Bathrooms built $2000
Heaters purchased $400
Upgraded lighting in or around barn $280
Trash Cans $178
Chairs $100
Chafing Dishes $160
Tablecloths $60
Misc. Decorative Items $200

With Sheridan, our only other daughter, being just 3 years old, we figure we have about 20 years before we need to worry about wedding expenses again!

The Wedding

2011-01-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

Saying Goodbye

2010-12-06T05:28:00.000-08:00

The final wedding preparation lists have just been completed and posted on the fridge. Everything from putting toothpicks in the appetizers to manning the bonfire has been put on lists and assigned to a variety of friends and family in hopes that the wedding day will be fun and without stress.

Yet one detail remains undone: the finishing of the book.

Before Meredith was born, I began writing to her in a journal. The book actually began before I was married or even engaged. The entries were written in hopes that one day I would be a wife and eventually a mother. As I decided to read the book one last time before giving it to Meredith in just a few days, the first line reminded me of how long I had been writing to my hoped-for first child:

"Dear Baby: Yesterday I received this book from Timmy for my eighteenth birthday."

The entry was dated December 13, 1983. I laughed and cried as I read the entries that spanned almost three decades. Almost forgotten memories came into clear focus as I read about our wedding in 1984 and Meredith's birth in 1987. The pages reminded me of how much joy Meredith brought to us each day as well as how concerned we were, as first time parents, about every aspect of parenting.

One entry in particular revealed how completely distraught we were the first time we faced a big parenting dilemma. It tells how Timmy and I spent two hours late one night discussing what to do with what appeared to be a streak of dishonesty that had surfaced in our sweet little toddler. The morning following the worrisome conversation, Meredith, barely three, proceeded to confirm our fear in what we still refer to today as the "vitamin episode."

She was given her daily Flintstone (deliciously sweet) vitamin but it fell on the floor so I told her to throw it away and I gave her a clean one instead. When she returned from what I assumed was a trip to the trash can and I asked her if she threw the dirty vitamin away, she responded yes. However, as she spoke I could see her tongue was colored from both grape and orange vitamins! Timmy and I were stunned, speechless, and paralyzed by her obvious lie. And so very heart-broken! Why would this sweet little girl ever lie to us, her adoring parents?! The story concludes with Meredith being disciplined by her very sorrowful daddy.

Contrasting our concern over the development of Meredith's character was an entry and picture of a special memory of Meredith's compassion when she was a big, four year old sister. We had taken Meredith and her one year old brother, Elliott, to the city fair called the "Chesapeake Jubilee." They were eager to ride the kids' dinosaur roller coaster and were seated beside each other in the picture.

As the ride started, all the children began laughing and screaming in delight. All the children - except Elliott - whose face quickly turned red as he began to cry. At first Meredith didn't notice he was crying but as the ride circled around, Timmy and I motioned for her to look at Elliott. Once she realized Elliott was crying, we could almost hear her as she said to him, "It's fun! We're having fun!" Her words weren't convincing though and he cried all the harder.

Meredith must have thought the loud sounds of children screaming were frightening him so her next attempt to comfort Elliott was to cover his ears with her four year old, big sister hands. Still, he cried.

Not knowing what else to do, Meredith pulled Elliott's head to her chest, covered his ears, and joined him in crying too!

The roller coaster worker finally realized Elliott was sad and he stopped the ride and took him off. Meredith quickly cheered up as the ride began again and she screamed and laughed with the other children. Timmy and I were so touched by her protective love of her little brother.

The origin of the all important "half birthday" was discovered in my reading as well. For as long as I can remember, Meredith has always announced her "half birthdays" as if they were the real thing! Well, it appears the tradition began when she was five and a half. The entry suggests that she told so many people that her half birthday was coming soon, that even my dear friend Lisa (who had a daughter Meredith's age) called first thing in the morning of Meredith's half birthday to send her well-wishes.

The stories go on and on. From sad times to happy. Through years where we worried about her and the influence of peers on her life to the years when she settled into the joyful young woman she is today.

As the Lord sent more children into our family, I began only writing to each of them in their books about once a year. I didn't write in Meredith's book early this year when I wrote in the other childrens' books. I think I knew in my heart that it would be the last time I would write to her. The last entry in Meredith's book was written February 1, 2009 and begins, "I wonder which entry will be my last. Oh how I'm treasuring these precious days with you. Surely the Lord has been preparing my heart for what will become the end of our sweet girl spreading joy, creativity, and enthusiasm in our family each day."

As we prepare for the wedding, I recently told someone that I'm not worried that Timmy and I will wipe a tear from the corner of our eye during the ceremony. I'm worried that we'll break down and sob uncontrollably!! Meredith has become such a good friend to us during these last few years. She spreads energy and enthusiasm into our lives every day. She's always working on a new business idea and loves the lines from newly-vacuumed carpet just as much as I do.

From a practical standpoint, she has been a remarkable sounding board for just about every financial decision we make and she has brought balance to us in so many other areas. She has enough of the Alexanders in her to speak the truth even if it hurts for us to hear it. But she has a good amount of my side of the family so she can say it kindly. Besides the fact that she is our daughter, we will miss her as a good friend who is moving far, far away.

Because we've been preoccupied with wedding planning for so long, it wasn't until a few months ago that I realized for the first time that Christmas is just a couple of weeks after the wedding. I imagined for the first time what Christmas would be like without Meredith being there. As the realization hit me, I said to Timmy, "Did you realize that Meredith isn't going to be with us this Christmas?! Do you remember our first Christmas with her when she was just a couple of weeks old? Do you remember the next Christmas when she learned to walk on Christmas Eve? Do you remember all those presents we bought her and how excited she was? Remember when she was a toddler and I'd put those pink, spongy curlers in her hair at night on Christmas Eve so it would be pretty the next day?" My emotions were escalating and I went on to say, "Meredith is what made Christmas so fun. She's the reason we really started celebrating Christmas! She was what Christmas was all about!" Bringing me out of my teary-eyed, memory-filled state was Timmy's reply, "And imagine, all these years I thought we were celebrating Christmas because of Jesus!"

A voice of reason speaks out in the midst of the emotionally charged ramblings of a mother.

What an incredible blessing it has been to enjoy almost twenty-three years with the sweet girl that I began writing to when I was but a teenager. What a treasure the baby, now young woman, named Meredith Ivy has been to me all these years.

Every day I tell myself to write the closing entry in Meredith's book but then I decide that it's not a good day to say good-bye. "Tomorrow I'll be ready," I conclude. "Maybe tomorrow."

Sheridan's Flower Girl Dress

2010-10-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

Ever since Meredith first learned, almost 4 years ago, that she would finally have the sister she had prayed for, she has said that she wanted Sheridan to be her flower girl, should Meredith marry one day.

What a special blessing that Meredith's wedding is occurring when Sheridan is at the perfect age to be absolutely thrilled to be a flower girl. Although normally quiet in public, Sheridan will tell complete strangers that she's going to be a flower girl. When she discusses the upcoming wedding, she usually says, "At Meredith and my wedding...." We have to remind her that really just Meredith is marrying Stephen and that she will continue to live with us for a long time!

As I began to search for a flower girl dress for Sheridan, I found that the ones I most liked were way out of our wedding budget so I began to study them closely and wonder if I might be able to make one myself. While pricing fabric, lace, sequins, pearls, and ribbon, I quickly understood why the dresses I liked were so expensive.

Inspired by Meredith's wedding dress story, I wondered if I might find a wedding dress at a thrift store and be able to use the fabric and laces to make an inexpensive replica of the flower girl dresses that looked so special online.

If anyone ever followed me around a thrift store, they would surely assume I was not completely sane as I often, when finding just the exact thing I was hoping for, thank the Lord out loud as if He were standing right next to me. Such was the case when I found the most beautifully embellished, satin wedding dress that could be used for creating a flower girl dress for Sheridan. It was $34.99 - not too big of an expense should the project be a flop.

Since the dress was a women's size 12, there was plenty of fabric to work with. I figured it would be easier to keep the hem line and other tailored angles in tact, so I cut the various pieces of the gown down to the size of one of Sheridan's sundresses that I used as a guideline. The wedding dress had such beautiful details in the covered buttons and exquisite sequins, lace, and beads so I tried to preserve them when reconstructing the dress.

The final stitches were made today as I tried to figure out how to "bustle" the train so Sheridan can run around at the reception.
I'm not known for quality sewing skills so I'm sure Sheridan will be leaving a trail of pearls behind which were not securely reattached during the reconstruction. I just hope she'll fair better than Oliver, Sullivan, and Harrison who went with Meredith to our area's annual Civil War Ball a couple of years ago. They left in Civil War Soldier costumes made lovingly (not skillfully) by their mother and returned as those wounded in battle with rips in shoulder seams and, worst of all, splits clear through in rear pants seams!

The Latest Farm Venture

2010-08-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

It seems the next logical step in farming is to learn how to grow and cut our own hay to feed the livestock over the winter months when the grass isn't growing. Tim has spent countless hours studying books and attending seminars and he finally planted his first pasture on Memorial Day.

During this very dry summer, God's blessing on Tim's effort has been obvious as the 30 acre pasture grew lush and green in the fierce heat and drought-like conditions.

A visitor recently was asking how we've managed to survive the summer with the lack of rain but then she suddenly interrupted herself and said, "What's with THAT pasture over there?!" Tim's pasture was so green, it almost looked artificial. I told her there was no explanation except to say that pasture had been blessed by the Lord.The first pasture was finally ready for cutting last week but we still didn't have the equipment needed for cutting hay. Because haying equipment is very expensive and we're committed to only moving forward in a "no new debt" manner, Tim has been praying and searching for used farm implements.

God was gracious and provided the pieces we needed just in time. A hay bind was located in a county a couple of hours away. Tim was nervous about hauling a piece of equipment home that measured 12 feet 4 inches wide on roads that are only 12 feet 6 inches wide! He asked that I accompany him to provide support (encouragement - not navigational skill support!).

At many points along the journey, I closed my eyes and held my breath when the road looked too narrow to accommodate the large piece of equipment and the oncoming traffic. It seemed things were going really well until a state trooper came swirling over a hill toward us obviously in a big hurry, and Tim adjusted a bit too far to the right to make room for the speeding car. BANG! We both gasped. We hit something. Probably a mailbox. Oh no!

Because of the difficulty maneuvering the equipment on the winding country roads, we decided we'd have to come back to make amends after dropping off the implement at home.

On the ride back to the scene of the crime, we discussed what we considered fair compensation for the mailbox. Tim said we would need to compensate them well for our mistake and suggested we give them $100. One hundred dollars?!!! For a mailbox?!!! For some junky rural mailbox?!!! I cringed.

Once we arrived though, we searched the area where we knew the incident took place and couldn't find any missing mailboxes. Tim walked alongside ditches looking for what he knew was a downed mailbox. Suddenly we saw it. It wasn't a mailbox. It was a PVC curve marker - one of many that the state put in a curve. It looked like other farmers had similar incidents with the markers as most of the plastic posts were banged up and leaning in one direction or another. Relieved, we headed to find a restaurant to celebrate our newly found/kept $100!

Within a few days, Tim and the older boys finally had the implements hooked up to tractors and were only waiting for a friend to come over and give them some advice before starting up the equipment. Everyone was tense as we knew rain was coming soon and would close the window on cutting the pasture at its peak. On the day they were to begin, there was a 100% chance of rain at 5pm.

Timmy rearranged the evening milking of the cows to a much earlier time so all hands would be available to bale hay after our friend came by, but before the rain started.

I watched the weather website often as the afternoon approached. It didn't look good.

I had Sullivan take all my porch plants to the yard to prepare for the certain watering they'd be receiving when the rain arrived on the very hot, above 100 degree day.

It never occurred to me to pray because the outcome seemed inevitable - 100% chance of rain.

But as the time drew nearer, the forecast slowly changed and the percentage of rain dropped slightly which finally made me realize I should be praying.

In a scene that nearly equaled that of a baby's birth, I later stood in amazement as I watched the boys and Tim operating equipment for the first time in their lives that cut, then picked up the rows of grass, packed it into uniform squares, tied a rope and knotted it within 1/50th of a second and spit out the perfect bales in neat rows that dotted the landscape.

All with recently purchased, used haying equipment and tractors that had been abandoned at this farm and brought back to life by Timmy's mechanical skills and hard work.

The evening closed with 75 bales of hay being added to our winter inventory - and no rain.

The next day, the boys and Tim spent the morning working on the baler so that it would work properly and automatically throw the hay bales right onto the trailer instead of leaving them in a straight line like the day before.

The machines had to be worked on throughout the day to keep them going.

That evening, the rain finally came. What a storm it was! I looked out toward the pasture and worried as the guys were the only things in the middle of the open field while the thunder clapped and lightening flashed. They were driving out of the field as fast the the old equipment would allow, trying to get the trailer that was loaded with hay bales to shelter before the hay was soaked and ruined.

I knew they'd come in disappointed about the hay on the ground that had to be left behind so I warned everyone in the house to be mindful and caring when the drenched men arrived.

Surprisingly, Oliver came running in the door smiling. As he stood in the kitchen out of breath, with water dripping and quickly making a puddle on the floor, I asked if everyone was discouraged. He said confidently, "No. I'm sure we got ALL the hay the Lord wanted us to have."

Wow - what perspective.

While Tim and I enjoyed 3 wonderful days celebrating our 26th anniversary on Hilton Head Island in South Carolina over the weekend, Elliott and Oliver surprised us by baling the rest of the hay that had dried out after the big storm. Although not the same quality as freshly cut hay, it will still be useful to us.

Meredith told us, with great pride in her brothers' hard work, that they put in a 19 hour day on Saturday to bale the rest of the hay. The total count was around 350 bales when they finished and came in that night.

We continue to be amazed at the many ways God provides for us in this new life of farming. From phantom mailboxes, to 60 pound hay bales being shot onto the back of a trailer automatically, to hard-working boys, we are very blessed!

Farmhouse Before & After: Sullivan & Harrison's Bedroom

2010-08-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Although the work was completed quite some time ago, we're just now getting around to posting the last of the before/after farmhouse fix-up pictures.

This is the room that we fixed up for Sullivan and Harrison. During renovation of the house, this is where Sheridan took her pack-and-play naps.

We had the room painted and Elliott and Oliver removed the carpet and sanded the floors.

I found the old bedside table in one of the barns. Meredith embroidered the boys' names on the pillows.

Baskets and bins that store almost all the clothing are tucked under every bed in the house. It allows for more space, a less cluttered look, better organization for little people whose clothes are gobbled up by deep, dark drawers, and super easy packing. When we move or go on a vacation, we just put lids on our bins and load them in the van!

Farmhouse Before & After: Master Bedroom

2010-08-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

This would become the master bedroom. I suppose it was the original living room as the home's front entrance is nearby.

Rather than take a couple of feet off the width of the room for a closet, Tim built our clothes closet in the dining room. We're careful to never go searching for clothes when we have dinner guests over and we're hoping most people think we store the fine china and collectibles behind the louvered doors.

I've had to be creative to cover those strange pipe holes in the walls. The metal pie plate thing is just not working for me. In the master bedroom, I hung a battenburg lace spread over the frame of the bed to cover the pipe hole.

Once when browsing in a thrift store, a shopper commented on an item I had in my cart. I told her we were decorating an old farmhouse. Later, she came to me with the framed, handmade lace needlepoint (in the right corner of the room) and said, "I thought this would be perfect in your home!"

My days with the beautiful handmade piece are numbered. Meredith has requested it for her new home.

The room had a vacant space that I thought could use a dressing table. I decided to open up my old flip-top sewing machine cabinet, put a board over the hole for the machine, and make a covering for the piece of furniture. It's a great place to put pictures and a lit candle.

Oliver asked why we have a boat in almost every room of the house when we live on a farm far from the water. I told him, "Never forget the ocean, Oliver. Never forget!" We miss our days on the coast (but I dream big dreams about our pond that is currently covered with algae).

Farmhouse Before & After: Elliott & Oliver's Bedroom

2010-08-12T15:05:00.000-07:00

This would become Elliott and Oliver's room. Since several of the bedrooms didn't have any type of storage, Tim and the bigger guys built a closet that extends the length of the bedroom.

The older boys' hardwood floors were in great shape except for one terrible-looking place where the roof had leaked and left huge stains. No worry - we found a great throw rug to cover the spot.

The old flag was found in a thrift store and complements the quilts that were made more than a decade ago by Tim's grandmother - Nannie E.

Farmhouse Before & After: Foyer

2010-08-12T14:53:00.001-07:00

This is the foyer and main entrance of the house although we seldom use it. Instead we, along with guests, all come and go through the kitchen entrance.

We had it painted, and then we pulled up the carpet, and sanded the floors. We turned this area into the family photo gallery.

The antique light fixture was in the dining room but we needed ceiling fans in all the rooms we live in (since the house doesn't have any A/C) so we relocated the old fixture to the foyer.

Tim knows that the best gift he can give me when we move to a new home is full view glass storm doors. Since they have been installed, the first thing I do every morning is open the heavy wooden doors to reveal the view of the outside through the full glass panels.

The photos are dear as they remind me of the good memories I've been privileged to make with these people God has allowed me to call my family. Pictures of vacations, newly birthed calves surrounded by children, anniversaries, and even one little fellow with his new eye glasses all bring back such precious memories to me.

All the pictures are of family members except for one. Who could possibly break through the "members only" status on the family photo gallery? Joel Salatin, the famous all-natural farmer, sticks out like a Thanksgiving turkey in the picture that the older boys treasure of a time when they were visiting with him. We are thankful for his influence both spiritually and educationally in Elliott and Oliver's lives. So for now, Joel is considered kin folk and hangs with the blood relatives.

The bouquet of dried hydrangeas are from a friend who God spared from stage four cancer. Her testimony and appreciation for life had a profound effect on me last summer when I struggled with discouragement as we adjusted to farm life in the abandoned house. I never look at the bouquet that I don't remember her kindness to minister to me when truly she was the one deserving of encouragement.

The jars of sand, with dates and locations, remind us of the beaches we've been blessed to visit in other countries while vacationing.

The black benches and matching shelves have survived several moves. I remember seeing them in a Walmart on vacation in Florida several years ago reduced to $30 for each shelf/bench set. It is nothing short of a miracle that Timmy let me further crowd our cram-packed vehicle to bring them home. In one house, where our seating was very limited, we'd all hold our breath as visitors would plop down on the benches assuming they were sturdy - they aren't!

This wall just outside the master bedroom in the foyer displays the gifts of unspeakable joy that God has given us during our marriage. I had pictures of each of the children developed in sepia tones and framed. Even though there is almost twenty years between them, time disappears in the neutral colors of the prints.

The picture on the left, a gold-branched tree dotted with jewels and framed in a glass-covered shadow box is probably the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. A dear friend, along with her artistic children and another mutual friend, created this most incredible memento after a loss we experienced through miscarriage.

The tree has a jewel signifying the birth month of each of our living children, while jewels representing our miscarried babies and the month of their home-going are interspersed and dot the branches in perfect order.

I received the gift in the mail the very day I returned from the hospital after having just added our ninth baby to our heavenly home last October. I was so overwhelmed by their most thoughtful gift and beautiful display of sisterly kindness and compassion. What dear friends God has given me.

Sullivan's Birthday

2010-08-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

Sullivan had a great day celebrating his 11th birthday with friends at the pool. What fun!

After swimming for hours in the pool, the moms and kids all went to a nearby park. Sullivan had so much fun with all his friends.

Summer Projects

2010-07-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

It has been fun turning our attention to some outdoor projects this summer that make our old farmhouse appear to be "loved" by its inhabitants.

I (Joy) found these weather-worn wicker chairs at a thrift store and thought we'd make an attempt at restoring them to their former beauty.

The fabric-covered cushions were faded and torn so it wasn't surprising that Oliver asked if I had paid good money for something headed to the burn pile.

I assured him he'd be pleased with the make-over.

Harrison and Sheridan were eager to help with the project.

We bought a couple cans of white spray paint for $1 each and sprayed until the ugly disappeared.

We found blue gingham fabric for $1 a yard and made new covers for the cushions.

I've had some wrought iron deco pieces that have made the many moves over the last few years and decided to hang one in the newly created seating area under the crepe myrtles.

When we moved in a year ago, there were rusty metal awnings on some of the windows.

The bigger guys were so nice to get rid of them for me.

Once gone, the neglected kitchen side of the house looked even worse though.

So the kids helped me make a small sitting area outlined by rocks we collected.

Oliver, also know as the "Hour of Power Man" because of his willingness to cheerfully give me one hour of manpower each day to complete a variety of tasks, was so helpful in this project.

He brought in the heavy, concrete bench, hung window planters, and even found an old tree limb for displaying the birdhouse just like I requested.

Then we turned our attention to the eye-sore, gray, cinder block pump house in the back yard.

The younger guys were eager to give it a paint job.

We found the coffee table, now serving as a bench, in one of the old barns and painted it black.

The fabric cushion and pillows were all made inexpensively from thrift store sheets and pillow cases.

This was my second attempt at fencing that would keep the chickens out of the herb garden.

We even ran an electric shocking wire temporarily but the only ones trained by it were the humans.

OUCH!

Don't let your ankle touch the fence when entering the back porch or you'll regret it for sure!

When the chickens learned to fly over the wire, I unplugged the shocker and gave up.

My mom, who knows how to bring beauty to any yard, has kept me well stocked with foliage in planters and pots as she thinks this might actually be a way to outsmart the chickens.

So far, so good!

Having never been characterized as a "collector" during our marriage, Timmy has shown noticeable concern as I've suddenly turned into a real observer of others' trash.

Such was the case when we were on a date at Outback Steakhouse one evening and I saw they were throwing away all of their tables while remodeling.

After getting permission from the proprietor, I made arrangements to gather up all those tables and give them a new home on the farm.

Now we have an outdoor eating area when people come for a tour and picnic.

Since I use regular fabric in outdoor settings, it only lasts for a couple of seasons before it needs replacing.

This summer's porch re-do was inspired by some grandmama's afghan that I saw at a thrift store for 99 cents.

Originally I had planned on patriotic-themed colors for the porch but when I saw the afghan in perfect condition with so much time obviously invested in the intricate flowers, my heart was warmed and I just couldn't leave the granny's treasure there unappreciated in the thrift store.

In an instant I decided the afghan would be the centerpiece in this season's porch re-do.

I found blue sheets, yellow gingham pillow cases, and an organza curtain with daisies that were all recreated to make pillows, cushions, and table cloths.

I even found a couple of rugs that I thought would encourage Sammie, our farm dog, to leave my things alone by sleeping on them instead.

It didn't work - each night she pulls the cushion off the old trunk and onto the floor and sleeps on it.

"At least," I holler to Sammie each morning, "you could put the cushion back during the day so the porch will look nice!"

She thinks the porch does look nice with my trunk cushion on the floor.

The wind inspired the tea cups and saucers on this table.

I couldn't find a way to keep the tablecloth from blowing away but figured it wouldn't hurt for some of my thrift store plates and cups to live outside on the table.

The pink-edged overlay cloth was made by sewing together 4 cloth napkins.

I was so glad that I ended up driving a pick up truck instead of the little Dodge to the thrift store the day I spied this wonderful pale yellow coffee table with all the quaint drawers for less than $15.

You can see on the left corner of the table's edge evidence that Sammie's puppy, Dakota, also loved the new porch deco item.

I curbed his appetite with some unsavory spices on the now exposed wood.

Regarding the missing drawer knob, until Dakota's older, I've hidden it to discourage its use as a teething toy.

I remind myself that this is why I get things from thrift stores - it's okay if it gets broken (or bitten!).

We enjoy eating lunch on the porch most every day.

It sure makes for easy clean-up after meals.

Off to another project.....

Family Vacation

2010-07-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

For the first time since the beginning of the farm three years ago, we took a real, extended vacation! Our summer intern and several willing neighbors took great care of the farm while we were away for a week. We loaded up and left VA early one morning and arrived the following morning/early afternoon in San Antonio, TX, stopping only for dinner at our aunt's (Mama's sister's) house in Pensacola, FL. Aunt Sissy and Mama...
Cousins visiting together...
We had a very nice visit and a delicious dinner.
Aunt Sissy and me...

We slept in the van as Daddy drove through the night. We arrived at our destination in San Antonio around noon the following day. We stayed in a hotel on the River Walk.
I loved having Stephen with us!
The conference was primarily about promoting life and families. It gave Stephen and me many opportunities to discuss our opinions regarding the subjects expounded upon in the sessions. Sullivan, Harrison, and Sheridan did a great job sitting quietly during the many sessions throughout the weekend.
The highlight for most of our family was getting to hear Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar (parents of nineteen children with the TV show, "19 Kids and Counting") speak in a few of the sessions. Mama loves the Duggar family's show and rarely misses an episode! Walking back to the hotel one evening...
Stephen and me leaving the Alamo...
Sheridan and her baby, Josie, in their matching dresses...

After a church service on Sunday morning, we began the long drive home, stopping only for dinner at Stephen's parents' home. Stephen's mother prepared a wonderful meal and Stephen showed us pictures, awards, and school projects from his childhood and played his saxophone for us. It was a very nice visit, but it was also sad because it marked the end of Stephen's nearly two week stay!

We drove through the night and all of the following day and arrived back at the farm that night. It was such a delightful trip and we are so thankful for the hard work of our intern and neighbors while we were away!

Washington D.C.

2010-07-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

Stephen and I (Meredith) took Sullivan and Harrison on a field trip to Washington D.C. a couple weeks ago. Sullivan and Harrison had never been to D.C. so I thought Stephen would be a perfect tour guide since he knows about everything.
At the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington Cemetery:

We made Sullivan get his picture taken in front of his "hero", Abraham Lincoln, even though as a die-hard Civil War history buff and true southerner, he was not very happy about this (as his face shows)!

I am in love with our tour guide. We had a wonderful, educational day.

Ice Skating

2010-07-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

Our good friends, the Pruietts, invited us to go ice skating with them a couple weeks ago. We had so much fun!
Although Oliver was quite confident in his ice skating skills prior to hitting the ice (literally), he quickly found that his ice skating abilities left much to be desired:

Harrison's 9th Birthday

2010-07-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

For Harrison's 9th birthday, he celebrated by going out with Elliott, Oliver, and Sullivan. It was a special treat for him to get to go on an afternoon outing with his big brothers. Lunch with the weekly free meal tickets Mama, Daddy, Elliott, and Oliver recently won (due to their arrival at a local Denny's when it had its grand opening at midnight several weeks ago... They each get one free meal ticket each week for a solid year!) :

At the movie theater before Toy Story 3 began:

Everyone is making their final birthday cake request for me (Meredith) this year. Harrison chose the popular ice cream cake. We love you Harrison!

A Tribute to the Family Truckster

2010-06-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

2004

As we approach the one year anniversary this Saturday of moving to this old, abandoned farm I am amazed by God's goodness in not only providing for us, but also helping us to like it - actually LOVE it here.

When I look around the farm and observe the ways things have changed, I realize that the biggest changes haven't been in the way things look but rather in how we view them. The old house still has only one tiny bathroom and no air conditioning but we seldom ever talk about it.

Instead, we talk about the cool breeze that often blows in the windows as night falls. We comment on how nice it is when the wind shifts and the flies aren't as omnipresent. And we get way too excited when we're able to eat supper before 8pm and have an hour or two to enjoy the evening before going to bed. We eagerly await evidence each month that the older boys have been successful in their newly acquired skill of artificially inseminating the cows and we cheer when one of the younger boys invents a way to mount a basket on his bike to transport bottles to the calf pen.

Probably one of the most obvious differences in the way we view things would be in regard to our material possessions - especially vehicles.

About five years ago I met, for the first time in my life, someone who drove a vehicle over 100,000 miles. She told me their minivan actually had 200,000 miles on it and I remember how I tried to hide my shock and disbelief. Trying to use the new friendship as a chance to broaden my horizons, I asked her how she knew when it was time to sell it if not at what I considered the drop-dead number of 100,000 miles. Can you believe she had a well-thought out formula?! She said that when a vehicle costs half as much to repair each month as it would to make payments on another vehicle, it was time to replace it. I couldn't have been any more amazed by her incredible wealth of knowledge.

All my married life, when a car hit the 100K mile marker, it was quickly off-loaded. Although we stopped getting loans for cars about 15 years ago when we went through Larry Burkett's budgeting series, we held fast to the rule of unloading cars before they reached the milestone of what we assumed would be certain and complete disaster.

But as farming has changed what we consider acceptable housing accommodations, we have entered a new era with our vehicles as well. With the exception of regular oil changes, we've thrown caution to the wind as we watched the odometer turn endlessly. Well, we had hoped it would turn endlessly.

Yesterday, our faithful family van of nearly 10 years left on a flatbed amidst the memory-filled send-off for which it was so deserving. Having brought babies home from the hospital, taking us on family vacations, and teaching some of the older kids to drive, our beloved van served us for more than 250,000 miles.
When we originally bought the van, I felt we MUST have a 12 passenger vehicle to carry our then, 5 children comfortably. There was positively not enough room for our party of 7 in a minivan - or so we thought. The dealer told us that the van had been traded in from the government and had been in service in the D.C. area. Because the van was completely black with privacy-blackened windows and the only sign of wear was on the floor and frame of the back doors, we wondered if it had been used in the coroner's office where caskets may have made the excessive wear marks.

As excited as I was to have a big, family van, it bothered me when in the wake of the 9/11 tragedy, people looked suspicious or even frightened as we drove by in the sinister-looking vehicle.

I asked Timmy if we could please paint the bottom quarter of the body with an alternating, complementary color so it wouldn't look so ominous. He flatly refused, reminding me that it would be a complete waste of money. In the mean time, he put a sad, noticeable "ding" (graciously described) near the passenger's side front tire on the once-perfect body.

This only further compounded my desire to have the semi-paint job (along with the now necessary body work). One day, in an insane moment of babbling, I told Timmy that what we needed was someone to lightly tap that passenger side so their insurance would pay for the repair and we could chip in for the difference of the two-tone paint job. Timmy, understandably, scolded me for even thinking such a fool thought.

Not long after that, we were making a right turn, properly signaled, and the man behind us was answering a call on his cell phone and glided right into the passenger side right tire area of our van. Please don't judge too harshly, but after I thanked the Lord profusely for his divine protection, I chose my new paint color.

As the years wore on, and we used the van for our tractor service, hauling gas cans, weed blades, and the like, along with farm use that became part of our new life, the van degenerated into a work van instead of a nice family van. When we'd load up for a family excursion, the girls would often have to sit on a towel to keep their clothes from getting dirty from the animals that had also been recently transported.

One memory that came to mind yesterday as the van was being hauled away was when Meredith and I left for the day to celebrate her 21st birthday. As always, the day included plenty of shopping and a meal at a girl-friendly restaurant. Not able to finish all of our lunch, we wrapped it up and put it in the van to store safely during the cold December day. However, we noticed something unusual at some point in regard to our left-overs. There was a nibbling, crunchy sound coming from our bags. The boys had forewarned us although we thought it was just brotherly teasing. There was a mouse, who somehow had gained entry during a routine pick up of animal feed, that was comfortably living in the van and on this day was eating our left-overs nonchalantly situated between Meredith and me as if he were one of the girls!

Fearing what we'd do if he jumped on us while we were driving, we opted to run the remainder of our shopping errands while leaving the van doors wide open in the parking lot - hoping he'd jump out and preferring to be robbed rather than attacked by a mouse. The picture in my mind's eye of the van sitting in the parking lot unaccompanied with doors wide open will forever be part of my van memories.

Poor Elliott, our mildest, most cautious driver was at the wheel when the van breathed its last. With a gurgle and some steam, it gave up the fight. Once we realized the extent of the damage, I remembered my seasoned, clunker-wise church friend's advice and tailoring it just a bit, we decided it wasn't worth repairing a vehicle when the expenses exceeded three times the value. So we bid our van farewell.

Offering the brightest ray of sunshine in our sorrow is the perky Dodge Durango that reluctantly became the family vehicle about two years ago when gas prices were high, causing us to leave our trusty van home most of the time. Boasting a whopping 256,000 miles, this car has been a most unusual vehicle for a family of eight. Because it only seats seven, the last 3 people sitting on a small bench seat have to "double-buckle" as we call it. Our years with the Durango are indelibly imprinted on our minds. (Whether for good or bad depends on which seat one has spent the last two years occupying.)

Because it is so small and really not intended to carry passengers of which 3 are at least six feet tall and one is in a large, clunky carseat, we feel the stares of passersby boring into our backs when we unload and unload and unload the passengers contained in the tiny SUV. To combat the recurrence of this uncomfortable incident, we instituted a command upon arrival at our destination: "Dismount and STEP AWAY from the vehicle!" That way, people don't know where we've all come from. It works well.

For one and a half years we all piled into the little Durango to attend church in Wake Forest - 2 hours away. Amazingly, there was very little discussion about discomfort. We had each other, we had our health, and we made many memories as we'd stop on the way home for 2 half gallons of ice cream each week and dish it out using our standard auto inventory of bowls and spoons that are in any Alexander-occupied vehicle.

I look back at that girl who just HAD to have a 12 passenger van and wonder what her problem was! The good life is lived in small cars just as easily as big ones. Cars with a bit of hay and animal feed ride just as well as those that don't. What matters is making the most of these fleeting days I have with these dear friends I call my husband and children. Any vehicle is suitable for memory-making and as long as it doesn't include any fury little creatures who nibble on my left-overs, I hope to find contentment in whatever the Lord provides.

The Engagement of a Daughter from a Mother's Perspective

2010-05-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

The engagement of our firstborn brings with it a time of intense reflection. Thoughts of Meredith's childhood visit me daily as I consider the enormous joy she has brought into our lives. Scenes, like the one captured on video of Meredith as a toddler sitting on Timmy's back while on the bathroom floor working on leaking pipes, come into clear focus as if witnessed just yesterday. Among the snapshots in my mind's eye is a first grade girl campaigning for a Virginia Senator by encouraging passersby to honk in support as they drove down our dead-end neighborhood street. I recall the inner turmoil we experienced as she was influenced poorly by her peer group in her younger teen years and the joy we felt when she returned to the contentment and vibrant personality for which she is characterized.

Nothing could have prepared me for the emotions I felt when Meredith turned eighteen. It was within a week of my having turned forty. I surveyed the past and looked to the future and realized that with this one child, I was done. My work was over. Sure, I would continue to walk alongside her and share any small bits of wisdom I might have gained, but the everyday pleasure of having raised a daughter was pretty much over. I realized that this was the beginning of the end. She was the first but the boys would all follow quickly behind her and soon the most enjoyable job of my life would be over. I would forever close the chapter of parenting - something that has brought me more joy than I ever dreamed possible.

As we usually do, the plan for Meredith's eighteenth birthday involved shopping and lunch out. It occurred to me early in the day that I was unusually sad about her turning 18. I couldn't help but think about how quickly the years spent raising her had passed by. It seems I had just called Timmy at work yesterday to tell him we were being induced for labor. Hadn't we just brought her home from the hospital - this baby we called "Sergeant Carter" from the series "Gomer Pyle?" The years that seemed to drag on forever while praying that we could once again homeschool Meredith while serving as houseparents at a children's home, really were but a blink of an eye. The many moves we made as Meredith helped us find and fix up foreclosed houses all faded into a blur of chaotic memories of hard work mixed with laughter. Here she was, an eighteen year old, all grown up, finished, no longer a child.

I managed to hide my emotions involving the birthday shopping trip until Meredith commented on one particular item she was hoping to find that day - a new robe. As she began explaining how she thought a new robe might be nice, I was immediately transported to a Christmas morning when she was eight years old. I could clearly see her in my mind's eye opening her gifts wearing the last robe we had bought for her. I don't know why she never received a replacement robe when she outgrew that one but the sweet little girl on Christmas morning remained a vivid picture in my mind. While Meredith continued talking about the type robe she was hoping to purchase, I could bear the sadness no longer and broke down crying. Through the sobbing I could barely explain, "It seems like we just bought you a robe! You were eight years old such a short while ago. It all went by so quickly. Now it's all over."

As that eighteenth birthday came and went, I adjusted to the new season of having a young adult daughter and came to enjoy the new relationship as much as I had the previous one. Gone were the days of worrying about how she'd turn out. In their place came the joy of walking alongside a young woman who was firmly established in her own personal relationship with Christ. What a blessing to spend my days with a girl so filled with contentment and happiness as she grew in her walk with the Lord.

The only real issue that caused me pause was when young men would ask to meet with Timmy in regard to Meredith. As Timmy would seriously pray before meeting with each boy, then come home to share the details with me, my heart would be in a knot as I wondered if this would be the man that ushers in the next phase of our relationship with our daughter. As Timmy sought God earnestly for guidance in this most important job for which Meredith had entrusted him - help in choosing a husband - I was eager to be a listening ear while offering input as Timmy would discuss what he felt God was telling him in regard to each young man. As the chapter would close, I would breathe a sigh of relief. Whew - she's not leaving yet!

What an unusual mix of emotions for a mother - I want my daughter to marry and have a family more than anything in the world. But in her doing so, I'll lose the daily companionship of the best young girlfriend I have! Not having experienced a child leaving, I'm imagining it to be really sad although all my older friends say it is even more wonderful to have married daughters. Surely they're not all mistaken. To further convince me that it won't feel like a death is my own experience. My relationship with my mother is immeasurably more wonderful than before I was married. Why wouldn't the same be true when Meredith is married?

I remember clearly the Sunday that Meredith told me she needed to talk with me and asked if she could ride with me while I dropped off the milk we were delivering to a drop site. She told me that a young man had written to ask a relevant question at her blog. As was customary, Meredith did background checks on any young man before replying to their questions - no matter how worthy the question might seem. She believes that the focus of her online ministry is to young ladies and that young men are often better served by other ministries. However, in an attempt to be cordial she did answer questions from young men that she felt were like-minded.

She shared with me the question that the young man asked and the communication that had taken place since then. We agreed that guidance was needed from Dad and the big boys - Elliott and Oliver. Meredith and I have learned first hand that, as women, we are created with a much deeper well of emotions and we can be led astray by feelings if we don't have the valuable input from men who are much more logical and analytical. (Our men never get starry-eyed or dreamy as Meredith and I talk about love, weddings, and such!)

After discussing everything, it was decided that further communication take place between Timmy and the young man.

Over the next four months, calls were made, letters were written, and information was mailed from one country to another as Timmy and the young man became acquainted. Because of the extreme danger in an internet relationship, I can't even imagine the communication having been pursued on our part had this young man's history not been documented and publicly accessible dating back to his early years in school. In an age when cyberspace can pose a great threat, it can also serve as a guardian as it documents the details of our lives. As we learned primarily about the young man's remarkable walk with the Lord, a date was set for an extended visit and it became evident that God was sending this young man into our lives for a reason of His design.

In preparation for the visit, our family was in much prayer. Timmy prepared pages upon pages of questions that were relevant in his assignment of offering guidance to Meredith in selecting a husband. The first full day of the visit concluded after many hours of interviewing while Timmy and the young man spent time together. That night after everyone had gone to bed Timmy told me how the young man answered all the questions. I offered some input, Timmy added more questions, and I sneaked up to Meredith's room to tell her the answers to all of the questions. Although discussed previously, Timmy told me she needed to give him her list of requirements for a potential mate by the next morning.

At this point, it all became a blur of Timmy taking the young man out for more discussion, Meredith and the young man spending time together discussing what they believed God would have them look for in a mate, and me crying every time they weren't around. From the anxiety I saw in Timmy when interviewing the other young men who had come in the past to the peaceful confidence he had as he told me about Stephen, I knew in my heart - this is the going to be the one!

As the time together concluded, we all agreed that God had answered our most urgent prayer prior to Stephen's visit: that we would know beyond a shadow of doubt that we had heard from God - no matter what the answer was and no matter if we were happy or sad with God's answer. More than anything, we just wanted to know what God's will was concerning these two young people. We were willing to accept any answer. We just desperately needed to know that we had heard from God and God alone.

I can't begin to measure the peace that has accompanied Meredith's engagement to Stephen, but I can explain it. As Christians who are committed to God's plan for our lives, He reveals the paths we should take. "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" Isaiah 30:21 For those who strive to walk with God daily, He gives direction, then He gives us immeasurable peace when we're walking in His way. People often say that they can't imagine walking through the death of a loved one without a personal relationship with God. I can't imagine walking through the joy of helping a daughter choose a husband without a personal relationship with God. We can truly rejoice without any fear or hesitation because we are confident God has spoken regarding the union of Meredith and Stephen.

Timmy and I are so filled with happiness as we see this young, God-following couple preparing to begin their lives together. It is every bit as beautiful as the birth of a newborn to see this incredible miracle God has done in bringing these two precious young adults to one another. We are eagerly and most excitedly preparing for the marriage of our Meredith and this young man, Stephen, who is already bringing so much joy into our lives as he exudes the character of Christ in every way.

Before long, I'll see if what my friends say is true - that the relationship with a married daughter is even better than before. Until then, I am finding great comfort in the fact that I've not even seen a robe sized small enough for Sheridan. As robe sizes go, we've got a lot of years ahead to enjoy another sweet daughter bringing joy and laughter into our hearts and home.

Spring on the Farm

2010-05-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

With the arrival of the warmer weather, we were able to release the ducks that have been maturing over the winter. We were so excited to see them waddle out to the pond for their first swim.

From the time Sheridan could barely speak, she's been asking for a donkey. We are thrilled to welcome "Balaam" into our farm family. He is so sweet and follows us around the farm like a puppy.

Spring brings with it the return of a twice monthly family activity that continues through the fall: chicken processing. Elliott did an incredible job renovating the processing area during the winter. He installed flooring, additional work stations, and a wonderful water delivery system.

Although we used to dread the exceptionally exhausting work, it has become one of my (Joy's) favorite days on the farm. There is laughter, joking, and singing as we enjoy working together as a family.

Everyone has a job - except for Sheridan who is in training but is usually found talking to the calves or riding her toy John Deere tractor near the processing area.

Elliott has begun a new beekeeping venture this spring. Here he is preparing to release the bees from their shipping crate and into the hive he built.

Barely visible in the distance is Oliver's latest endeavor: blueberry bushes. He has an interest in orchards and is caring well for his new investment.

The sunsets are so beautiful at this farm that the Lord provided for us.

This spring has brought with it an abundance of fresh, creamy milk. We've enjoyed making a lot of butter with the sweet cream. The by-product, buttermilk, has been delicious in the freshly ground wheat muffins Meredith occasionally makes for our lunches.

It's so nice to see the cows grazing peacefully on the abundant pastures after the snowy, long winter.

Spring brings with it several new litters of kittens.

This calf named Lime, daughter of Lemon, just can't get enough of Tim. She follows him around and gobbles him up anytime she can.

Friends: Cow and Cowgirl greet one another

This is the first pasture Tim planted. Rotational grazing is so well illustrated here. You can see exactly where the cows have been and where they've yet to graze.

Dottie - a good milker and a great girl.

Sunday afternoons - a chance to relax.

What a good life God has given us. It brings us so much joy to work (and play) together as a family.

I'm Engaged!

2010-03-22T04:51:00.000-07:00

I am engaged to the most amazing man in the world. Words can't even begin to express how happy I am! To read our courtship story, click here.

"O Lord, You are my God; I will exalt You and praise Your name, for in perfect faithfulness You have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

Phillips, Craig, & Dean Concert

2010-03-13T20:23:00.001-08:00

Last night we went to a great Phillips, Craig, & Dean concert. We have listened to their music for a very long time but this was the first concert we attended. It was a very worshipful time and a fun, family evening.

Spring Break Farm Camp

2010-02-24T11:24:00.000-08:00

The following notice was sent to several publications, but we want for our local blog readers to be aware of our upcoming Spring Break Farm Camp as well:

Avery's Branch Farms is an organic dairy and meat farm in Amelia, VA offering learning opportunities for boys, ages 13 and up.

During the one week session, apprentices will be introduced to all aspects of operating a family run, self-sustaining farm including milking cows, slaughtering chickens, and a variety of jobs related to farm maintenance.

Limited number of openings

Cost: $50 per session

Session 1: March 8 - 12, 2010

Session 2: April 5 - 9, 2010

Camp Hours: 8am - 5pm

Visit www.averysbranchfarms.com or email us at averysbranchfarms@yahoo.com for more information.

Farm Pictures

2010-02-24T08:27:00.000-08:00

A photographer from Richmond Magazine came out to the farm a few weeks ago to take pictures for an article in which our farm was mentioned. We have permission to share the additional pictures now that the article has been released:

Sheridan's 3rd Birthday!

2010-02-20T20:43:00.000-08:00

Sweet Sheridan turned three yesterday! Her favorite gift has been her new "monica" (harmonica). Sheridan brings so much joy to our family. I can't imagine our lives without her. We are constantly talking about the sweet things she says. She is such a good girl. She loves Dora the Explorer so I (Meredith) made her a Dora birthday cake.

Jonathan Elijah

2010-02-07T23:09:00.000-08:00

A Saint Among Us

2010-01-30T09:30:00.000-08:00

Alexander Christmas 2009

2009-12-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas filled with relaxing, visiting, laughing, eating, opening gifts, and remembering Jesus' birth.

All four of the boys received laser tag guns:

Sheridan was given many sweet girly gifts. Unfortunately, she hasn't yet learned the importance of being thankful for all of her gifts. With great excitement, she began to open her final gift:

She immediately realized it was two replacement "woolies" ("Woolies" are satiny blankets that our mom sewed for each of us when we were newborns. Sheridan's original woolies are nearly in shreds from being carried around so much):

She was obviously expecting a toy. Her demeanor dropped drastically and she sadly exclaimed, "That's not a present!":

We spent Christmas Day visiting with many relatives. Sheridan helped Nannie open her present:

Sheridan with our grandmother:
A few days ago, Harrison, Sheridan, and I (Meredith) baked and decorated Christmas cookies. I was given cookie cutters on my birthday for my hope chest, but decided to use them early. :)

Harrison, who asks to be referred to as "The Fist", is convinced that he's the strongest "man" in our family, but still loves helping me with Christmas cookies each year. A few of the 10-12 year old girls from church planned a lovely Christmas Tea Party for the little girls a couple weeks ago. Sheridan had such a fun time and continues to talk about her tea party.

Sullivan, Harrison, & Sheridan's Homeschool Christmas Program

2009-12-27T13:20:00.000-08:00

Sullivan, Harrison, and Sheridan prepared the following Alexander Homeschool Christmas Program for the blog! Sullivan and Harrison recite the scripture they recently memorized, Exodus 20:1-17 (The Ten Commandments), and Sheridan follows with her recitation of Luke 2:1 and singing her version of her favorite songs.